Music makes the people come together — but lyrics might be even more powerful as unification tools. Think about it: Whether you’re a rap fiend or a hater of all things hip hop, you have to admire a guy who figures out a way to rhyme “narcissist” with “lobster bisque.” See below to find out what we’ve dubbed 2012’s top five lyrics, which artists warbled 2012’s worst five lyrics, and which lyric won the dubious honor of being the year’s best AND worst at the same time. (Hint: Think “Call Me Maybe.”)


5. “And I’m like… ‘I just… I mean, this is exhausting, you know. Like, we are never getting back together. Like, ever.'”

–Taylor Swift, “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together”

4. “The best song wasn’t the single, but you weren’t either.”

–Frank Ocean, “Sweet Life”

3. “Am I really just a narcissist/Cause I wake up to a bowl of lobster bisque?”

— Rick Ross, “I Love My Bitches”

2. “If I’m butter — if I’m butter/If I’m butter, then he’s a hot knife/He makes my heart a cinemascope screen/ Showing the dancing bird of paradise.”

— Fiona Apple, “Hot Knife”

1. “I snatch food from the mouth of a tiger/Take a gasoline bath, and I walk through fire/Bear hug a grizzly, suck milk from a titty/Take the sergeant’s hat from his head and use it for a Frisbee/Spit in a crocodile face/Have a ménage à trois with two female apes/Then sleep in a barrel of butcher knives/I drink honey straight from the beehive/Bungee jumping off the Empire State, butt-naked/Rollerblade across the Golden Gate, butt-naked/With the baddest man alive, and I don’t plan to die.”

–RZA, “Baddest Man Alive”


5. “You at the bottom of the barrel scraping/I’m out in LA, at the Ice Age taping.”

— Nicki Minaj, ”Roman Reloaded”

4. “Party in slow motion/Out here in the open/Mmmmmmm…motorboatin’!”

— Little Big Town, “Pontoon”

3. “You still have to squeeze into your jeans /But you’re perfect to me.”

— One Direction, “Little Things”

2. “Just a shy guy/Looking for a two-ply/Hefty bag to hold my love.”

— Train, “Drive By”

1. “Swag swag swag, on you/Chillin’ by the fire while we eatin’ fondue.”

— Justin Bieber, “Boyfriend”

Special bonus award! Best AND worst:

“Before you came into my life/I missed you so bad.”

— Carly Rae Jepsen, “Call Me Maybe”

Written by Hillary Busis and Laura Hertzfeld

More Best of 2012:

Call Me Maybe
  • Music