November 28, 2012 at 06:01 PM EST

Sorry, Honor — this product truly deserves to top Ron Swanson’s Pyramid of Greatness.

Yes, shaving cream that smells like rich, smoky pork actually exists. Here’s how the press release describes it: “J&D’s Bacon Shaving Cream™ is proudly Made in America and is the highest quality meat-scented shaving cream on the market today… It is best used after a hot shower or before an important date with someone you may want to spend the rest of your life with.”

As EW.com photo guru Jef Castro says, “That MUST cause break-outs. Or obesity.” Absolutely — but is it kosher? I’ll let you know as soon as I hear back from the product’s creators, “Bacontrepreneurs” Justin and Dave.

These guys also sell a sriracha-flavored lip balm. Wearing it, apparently, is “like making out with some tasty napalm.”

Congratulations, world: I have finally been rendered speechless. Ooo, accidental bacon pun!

Read more:

Nick Offerman performs slam poetry about bacon — VIDEO

Ron Swanson’s best foodie moments — EXCLUSIVE VIDEO

‘Parks and Rec’: Ron Swanson’s ‘turkey burger’ is now a reality, proves he needs to write a (very unhealthy) cookbook.

type
TV Show
seasons
7
Genre
run date
04/09/09-02/24/15
Status
In Season
Network
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