By Maane Khatchatourian
Updated November 09, 2012 at 12:00 PM EST
Jesse Cowell/My Damn Channel

Image Credit: Sonja Flemming/CBS[/caption]

Only seven episodes into the season, The Big Bang Theory has already racked up guest stars Howie Mandel, Buzz Aldrin, Stephen Hawking, and now Trekkies Wil Wheaton and LeVar Burton. Aside from bringing in laughs with their repeat cameos, Wheaton and Burton helped ensure the sitcom’s longevity and prosperity.

After befriending his hero Hawking last week, Sheldon redefined his relationship with his frenemy Wheaton last night. Sheldon invited the former Star Trek: The Next Generation actor to guest star on his podcast Sheldon Cooper Presents: Fun with Flags. It’s all so meta! Amy, who usually co-hosts the show about vexillology — the study of flags — stepped behind the camera to direct the not so dynamic duo. As soon as Wheaton attempted to present the United Federation of Planets flag, Amy interrupted, “Wil, that was a little wooden.”

No matter how hard poor Wesley Crusher tried to sound human, Amy wasn’t satisfied, even when he used his best William Shatner voice. Then, the unthinkable happened: Wheaton called Amy a “huge pain in the a–,” putting Sheldon in an uncomfortable position. Of course, not being able to read sarcasm ultimately moved him from the realm of mere discomfort to sheer agony. Sheldon didn’t realize that Amy actually expected him to stand up to Wheaton and let her walk out and cancel their dinner plans, unaware that her offers for both acts were ironic. He instead enjoyed a “delightful dinner at a reasonable price” with Wheaton at HomeTown Buffet.

Sheldon had no clue that Amy was angry until Leonard suggested it later that day. After a video chat with her confirmed it, he visited her home (“[knock knock] Amy, [knock knock] Amy, [knock knock] angry Amy”) to buy back her love with Star Trek DVDs. She might have been more forgiving if the present was wrapped in an apology instead of a huge “I told you so.” “Not being familiar with Wil Wheaton’s body of work, there was no way for you to know that you were being rude to a national treasure,” he said. Good thing they’re not having coitus or else that move would have landed him on the couch for at least one month.

Sheldon then went to the Cheesecake Factory to vent to Penny, who liquored him up and encouraged him to stand up for his woman! She apparently forgot her role in Winegate 2010 when he stripped on stage in front of the university’s faculty after accepting an award. He didn’t go naked this time, but he did go rogue. Like a true red-blooded Texan, he marched to Wheaton’s house to beat an apology out of him. WHEATON!!! He received it earlier than anticipated and puked soon after putting up his dukes.

It’s safe to assume that he made up with Amy because the episode closed as it opened, with the two of them and a former Star Trek star (this time Burton) filming a Fun with Flags webisode. Unfortunately, no one is dressed in costume. Amy became critical of Burton, but Sheldon knew to stick up for her this time around. Our little Moon Pie is all grown up!

While Sheldon was learning about womenfolk, Howard was doing some maturing of his own. Bernadette encouraged him to finally move out of his mother’s house and Howard ultimately agreed. But only after finding several excuses to put off taking the plunge, including blaming Sabbath for his inability to pack. The most touching scene of the night came after his move. While unpacking his wands at Bernie’s apartment, he recalled performing magic for his mother in order to put a smile on her face after his father walked out on them. “For a few minutes she’d forget how lonely she was,” he said, in his saddest voice to date. So his perfect wife grabbed a few boxes and insisted they crash with her mother-in-law for the night. “No husband of mine is going to break his mother’s heart.” All together now, awww! It was the perfect touching ending to a perfectly hilarious episode.

Here are tonight’s best lines:

Amy: It’s called Fun with Flags. They’re not at half mast, nobody died. Let’s try to keep it upbeat.

Amy: So this time let’s try more real boy, less Pinocchio.

Wil Wheaton: You realize I’m doing this for free, right?

Amy: Yeah, and so far, we’re still not getting our money’s worth.

Sheldon: None that I could see. I saw a man who loved flags almost as much as I do. I got goose bumps.

Sheldon: Feel free to play with yourself.

Howard: Don’t take it personally, she likes doing them by herself so she can lick the plates with no one looking.

Howard: Got this at the Goodwill store for 50 cents. Can you believe it?

Bernadette: 50 cents sounds right.

Howard’s mom: Howard, help! My hand’s stuck in the garbage disposal.

Howard: Let go of whatever piece of food you’re holding.

Howard’s mom: Are you kidding? It’s a perfectly good chicken leg.

Sheldon: Very often when women think they’re angry, they’re really just hungry.

Bernadette: It might be a little more convincing it you didn’t have a mouth full of bacon cheeseburger.

Howard: I’m not a child.

Penny: I’ve seen her burp you.

Howard: Boy, if these walls could talk …

Leonard: They’d say, ‘Why does he touch himself so much?’

Howard: Yeah.

Leonard: We’re not standing around by the U-Haul while you fondle yourself.

Howard: Fine, let’s go.

Penny: You could have a long island iced tea.

Sheldon: Will that calm my nerves?

Penny: It’s calmed the pants off me a couple times.

Penny: So the heart you got from the wizard givin’ you trouble?

Sheldon: Someday scientists will discover that second X chromosome contains nothing but nonsense and twattle.

Sheldon: Get the Mad Hatter on the horn, I’m havin’ a tea party.

Sheldon: On the other hand, that low down pole cat done wrong my woman.

Sheldon: She’s a unique blend of saint and squirrel.

Howard: Okay, I’m now officially moved out of my mother’s house. You are now the only woman in my life who I’ll see naked in the bathroom.

Sheldon: Wil Wheaton [knock], Wil Wheaton [knock]. Wait, how many was that?

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