Providing further evidence that the modern Catholic Church ain’t your mama’s Catholic Church, the Vatican’s film critic has written a full-throated support of Skyfall, praising the film’s “adrenalin pumping action, amazing hyper-realistic chases, exotic locations, extremely beautiful Bond girls, the usual super villain, and the essential vodka martini” — all things much enjoyed by the population of the Vatican. (They took a vow of chastity… but nothing wrong with a little window-shopping, amiright boys?)

But it’s not all fun and games: Vatican film critic Gaetano Vallini praises how in Skyfall, James Bond is “less attracted to the pleasures of life, darker and more introspective… more human, even able to be moved and to cry.” You could say that Bond is experiencing a crushing sensation of guilt, which makes it impossible for him to experience joy in a meaningful way. If only there could be a whole belief system built on all-encompassing guilt!

The Skyfall review was actually just one of five Bond-related articles in this week’s L’Osservatore Romano, which also included a profile of Bond creator Ian Fleming, a retrospective of Bond music, and a think piece by Pope Benedict explaining that everyone is wrong about Timothy Dalton — he was just Daniel Craig 20 years before the world was ready for Daniel Craig. Just kidding, the Pope didn’t write that: He gave up on the series after You Only Live Twice.

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