'30 Rock': Gary Cole, Amy Sedaris, Kellan Lutz, and Don Cheadle guest!
The final season of 30 Rock is certainly taking advantage of the presidential election. I mean, if it weren’t for the current political landscape, we would live in a world without Baseball Mitt Romney and Barack Ollama! With the election just around the corner, Jack was doing all he could to raise money for his Republican Super PAC, Americans for an American America. Since his lady friend was unable to attend his fundraiser, Jack convinced Lemon to go with him as his chum. But let’s be honest, he didn’t have to do much convincing once she learned there would be shrimp there.
At the fundraiser Lemon was rudely awakened when 1) she ran out of shrimp, and 2) realized that by “chum” Jack meant “the bait I throw in the water to attract the big fish.” Dammit second meaning! (Ed. note: “chum” would be a perfect fit for Jack’s NBC game show, Homonym.) Lemon vented all her liberal frustrations to Jack’s conservative group, hoping they would right their wrongs. Or I guess, “left” their wrongs. Apologies for that terrible pun. Anyway, her rampage had the opposite effect, convincing the attendees to donate even larger amounts to Jack’s Super PAC.
This led to a battle of wills to see who could sway American voters. Liz decided to use her words and ideas on TGS, while Jack stuck to money because there’s “no problem in the world that can’t be solved by throwing money at it.” May the best gender non-specific person win! But as it turns out, neither money nor ideas can win an election. But what can? Or rather who can? Jenna Maroney. That’s who.
Let me explain: Jenna found surprising success with “Catching Crabs in Paradise,” her Jimmy Buffett-esque song that attracted throngs of crab catching fans. (Both kinds, because I know you were wondering.) Jenna couldn’t be her diva self because she had to appease her easy-living followers—a fact that Frank, Lutz, and Toofer tried to use to their advantage. While Jenna was getting in touch with her island side, Jack and Liz realized that the Northern Florida population would ultimately determine the results of the presidential election. And those Northern Floridians, the ones from the penis of American, happened to be Jenna’s new army of followers. Twist! And to be continued…
NEXT: Guests galore and the best lines from the episode…
We’ll have to wait until next week to learn who will get to Jenna first. In the meantime, let’s talk about all those guest stars! There was Gary Cole, the leader of Jenna’s Crab Catchers. Amy Sedaris, a visor-wearing Crab Catcher sporting a seatbelt tattoo. You know, so she doesn’t get pulled over when she drives topless. Don Cheadle, as himself, appeared in a Black American’s for Mitt Romney ad because Jack paid him $10 million to do so. And we finally met Lutz’s grand-nephew, Kellan Lutz, who got to eat marshmallows and take it off because no one cares what you say when you look like that.
The top 10 lines from “Unwindulax”
++ “If you’re coming, it won’t be as Liz lemon HuffPo super-user and gun control lunatic. You’ll come as Liz Lemon, my chum.” —Jack, warning Liz to keep her opinions to herself at the fundraiser
++ “Have an unwindulaxing day, you medical office before pictures.” —Jenna
++ “You don’t have enough shrimp to buy my silence! Also you are out of shrimp.” —Liz
++ “My boyfriend and I aren’t married, but we might have a baby together anyway. And I hope it’s gay. Male gay, because with the ladies it’s too much hiking.” —Lemon
++ “If you ever want to pick your ball color at a putt putt course, or have your alligator euthanized humanely, or fly on Delta, you will back off, or the Crab Catchers will come for you.” —Jenna
++ “It’s a gray hoodie. It says ‘who farted’ on the back. It’s got a bunch of tampons in the pocket. I don’t know what else to tell you.” —Liz looking for her hoodie at coat check, and then later yelling: “Those are tampons. Deal with it!” when they fell out of the hoodie
++ “That’s not what people want, Lemon. Least of all from their televisions. They want their Honeys Boo Boo and their Sunday Night Feetball, which is the plural of football. American’s don’t want to think. That’s why they need men like me to pick their presidents for them.”
++ “Gentlemen and token silent lady, we have to spend all of our wonderful money and help my hair mentor, Mitt Romney, become the 11th legitimate President of the United States.” —Jack
++ “New York will go for Obama even if I voted 100 times instead of my usual five!” —Jack
++ “Don’t give up. That is not the Lisa Loeb I know.” —Tracy, attempting to comfort Liz
Did you love all the guest stars? Who was your favorite? And what was your favorite line? Sound off in the comments, and remember to vote. Even if you don’t live in Northern Florida.