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We’re not sure why Lindsay Lohan and her mother Dina were “involved in an altercation” this morning — but according to People, their skirmish was so fierce that police were called to Dina’s Long Island home around 8 a.m. (Who knew Lindsay was even awake at 8 a.m., let alone in fighting shape?)

The Nassau County Police Department says that it uncovered “no criminality” after making the house call. No other details about Lohan vs. Lohan have been released, though New York’s Daily News reports that Lindsay was irate about being brought to Long Island; she supposedly wanted to stay in Manhattan, where she and Dina had been partying. The paper says Lindsay was also angry that her mother hadn’t yet paid back $40,000 she gave Dina as a loan.

But what if the fight was catalyzed by something else — say, a mean remark Dina made to Lindsay, or vice versa? Let’s speculate about what these two might have said to each other before the police were called. Here are some suggestions to get the ball rolling:

DINA: “She’s the Man is a hundred times better than Just My Luck.”

LINDSAY: “Even I was embarrassed by your Dr. Phil interview.”

DINA: “Samantha Ronson and Erin Foster made such a cute couple.”

LINDSAY: “You know Amy Poehler’s ‘cool mom’ character in Mean Girls? Yeah, she’s not supposed to be a role model.”

DINA: “So The Canyons kinda looks like a hot mess, doesn’t it?”

LINDSAY: “You are directly responsible for most of my issues.”

See, it’s fun! Your turn.

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