In his new book, ''America Again: Re-becoming the Greatest We Never Weren't,'' Stephen Colbert describes the state of the nation. Here are some choice nuggets.

By EW Staff
September 28, 2012 at 04:00 AM EDT

”Unions’ impossible rule makes it too expensive to manufacture anything in America. Case in point: this book. It was hand-sewn by Bangladeshi toddlers. American workers just don’t have hands small enough to manually typeset the tiny footnotes.”

”America spends twice as much on healthcare per capita than any other country. Whatever is most expensive is always best. Same reason the best Broadway show is Spider-Man: The Musical….”

”How coal is converted into clean coal: 1) Start with coal 2) Add the word ‘clean’ in front of it.”

”There’s only one way to stop voter fraud: End voter registration. Because the more voters, the more potential for voter fraud. Just like the more ingredients in a food, the more likely it is one of them is ‘Chinese drywall.”’

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