The four-time Emmy nominee, who's written for four Emmys and seven Oscars, dishes about the awards show

By EW Staff
September 28, 2012 at 04:00 AM EDT

1. At the Oscars, booze is free. Emmys still make you cough it up at a cash bar ($9 for a plastic cup of wine).

2. Even for my fourth Emmy nomination (Outstanding Writing for a Variety Special, for the 84th Annual Academy Awards), my heart races like a mofo when our category is announced. It’s then I’m glad I opted for the stronger, aluminum-containing deodorant as opposed to the more PC one purchased at Whole Foods.

3. They asked the house to hold their applause until the end for the ”In Memoriam” segment. Frustrating. This is the last Emmys for these fine people — is it so horrible to give them one last shout-out?

4. During a commercial break, stagehands furiously hammered in the errant nail that caught on Julia Louis-Dreyfus’ gown.

5. In the ladies’ room at the Governors Ball, I finally met the awesome Mindy Kaling. She also helped me out at the automatic paper-towel machine. Apparently, her hand had a ”come hither” look that mine didn’t.