My fellow Americans, do you feel dissatisfied with the current state of our government? Did you watch the recent political conventions shaking your head, wishing that you could get excited about a presidential candidate, the way people used to in some distant past that never actually existed? Also, do you like publicity stunts? Then, my countrymen, salvation has arrived. According to the Associated Press, superhero Captain America has been elected President of the United States. Captain America (alias Steve Rogers) is the first World War II veteran to hold the office since George H. W. Bush, and is the first President to carry a large blunt-ranged weapon since Teddy Roosevelt and his infamous “Boomerang of Doom.”

As a write-in candidate, President America does not ascribe to any party philosophy, although sources indicate that he is socially moderate, fiscally conservative, and utterly disinterested in the history of the second half of the twentieth century, which explains why your grandparents voted for him. President America will be sworn into office on September 26, in The Ultimates #26, at which point he promises to buckle down and develop a viable economic policy. Just kidding! He’s probably gonna fight the Skrulls or something. Here’s a look at the Ultimates cover:

Credit: Lewis Jacobs/NBC

This is not the first time in Marvel history that Captain America has been elected to the highest office in the nation. Way back in What If…? #26, an alternate-universe Captain America was elected to the presidency. As it happens, I have that issue hanging on the wall of my office. Here it is:

The first person who can name the two movie posters hanging on either side of the comic book will earn themselves a special no-prize!

Follow Darren on Twitter: @DarrenFranich

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Captain America
  • Movie
  • 97 minutes