What’s left to say about James Franco, actor, writer, obsessive degree collector, and secret lover of Japanese body pillows? Not much — which is why when I read Franco’s latest missive in the Huffington Post, I was compelled to just let the actor speak for himself.

Whether you roll your eyes at Franco’s “celebrity deconstructing celebrity” schtick or you’re amused by it, you’ve got to admit the guy has a signature style — even if younger, less pretentious multihyphenates like Joseph Gordon-Levitt are poised to usurp his throne. So until that day comes, let’s just enjoy Franco being Franco, as exemplified in these seven Franctastic quotes from a letter the actor wrote to one of his “writer friends”:

Contemplative Franco

“I am sitting poolside at the top of the SoHo House in New York. The weather is nice, things are going well, and I suppose I have a good life.”

Name-dropping Franco

“During my time there [at Warren Wilson College], Alan Shapiro and Alan Williamson helped me reshape the manuscript a bit, and then Tony Hoagland and Frank Bidart did a lot of heavy editing with me after I got back to New York.”

SAT-word Franco

“Publishing is pretty exciting, but it also makes me feel amorphous.”

“No duh” Franco

“And when I look at the book of poems, it’s a funny experience because it is now my first book of poems.”

“No duh” Franco, part deux

“As a young artist you usually look up to other artists whom you like and think, ‘I want to be an artist like that,’ but then you realize that as a real artist you might be very influenced by other artists, but you will always add something of yourself to the mix. Always.”

Murdering necrophiliac Franco — wait, what?

Oz makes it possible for me both to afford to direct a movie about a murdering necrophiliac (McCarthy’s Child of God — I paid for the whole thing) and to get backing for As I Lay Dying, Faulkner’s swirling narrative about a family’s burial of their matriarch, a book that has not been brought to the screen since its publication over 80 years ago.”

It all comes down to Sam Raimi” Franco

“Anyway, I like critics — at school all we do is criticize and analyze — but I don’t like superficial critics, and those tend to be the ones that my work attracts. I guess because I was in Spider-Man.”

The best part: His piece is titled “Search for the Real: Part 1.” Imagine the poignant musings in store for us in Part 2!

Read more: