Stars gathered in Los Angeles Aug. 4 to poke fun at the notoriously crass comedian in the latest ''Comedy Central Roast'' (airing Aug. 12). A look at the best (printable) lines of the night.

By Emily Rome
August 10, 2012 at 04:00 AM EDT

”When Comedy Central calls you and tells you they want to honor you — and they will — just hang the f— up. And to all of you Comedy Central executives, I have one thing to say: Get a f—in’ dictionary and look up the word honor.” —Roseanne Barr

”Roseanne and I, we’re both feminists…. We think women can do anything that men can do. In fact, we were discussing this earlier at the urinal.” —Carrie Fisher

”She made so much money in the ’90s, she can do whatever she wants — except make another good TV show.” —Roastmaster Jane Lynch

”Most of all, Roseanne, I loved seeing Princess Leia strangle you with a chain at the end of Return of the Jedi.” —Seth Green

”Rosie — this is true — she actually had ‘Property of Tom Arnold’ tattooed on her hip, which made me the fourth-largest property owner in California.” —Roseanne’s ex-husband Tom Arnold

Advertisement

Comments

EDIT POST