By Darren Franich
Updated August 06, 2012 at 07:23 PM EDT

The Expendables

  • Movie

If you think about it, Sylvester Stallone is very similar to Jesus Christ. Jesus rose from the dead on the third day; Stallone rose from career death by making Rocky Balboa, the third-best Rocky movie. Jesus single-handedly cast the moneylenders out of the Temple in Jerusalem; Stallone single-handedly cast the Neo-Fascists out of Los Angeles in Cobra. And whereas Jesus assembled twelve of his best pals into a crack team of religious emissaries known as “The Twelve Apostles,” Stallone convinced his twelve BFFs to join him for The Expendables 2, the sequel to 2010’s bloodsoaked beefcake tone poem.

In a new poster for Exp2ndables designed to resemble Leonardo da Vinci’s The Last Supper, Stallone casts himself as the Messiah figure flanked on all sides by his weaponized disciples. (Click on the image above for a closer look.) In an intriguing twist, Dolph Lundgren’s Gunnar Jensen is sitting in the Judas seat. (Or anyhow, that would be intriguing if Gunnar hadn’t already betrayed his fellow Expendables in Expendables 1.) Also, franchise newcomer Nan Yu is sitting in the seat reserved for the Apostle John — unless you believe Dan Brown’s The Da Vinci Code, in which case she’s Mary Magdalene and you are wrong.

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The Expendables

  • Movie
  • R
  • 103 minutes
  • Sylvester Stallone