By Emily Rome
August 01, 2012 at 07:21 PM EDT

If Paul McCartney had been writing “Rocky Raccoon” today, the song’s hero may have not found Gideon’s Bible in his room, but a copy of “mommy porn” phenomenon Fifty Shades of Grey.

Yes, just when you thought you could escape this book, it’s found its way into the night table drawers of your vacation locales. Damson Dene Hotel, located in the Lake District of England, has replaced its Bibles with copies of Fifty Shades of Grey, reports Time.

Why?! Why?! Why?! you may ask. Well, the hotel owner, Jonathan Denby — who says he hasn’t read the popular erotic novel — has his answer: “We thought it would be a hospitable thing to do, to have this available for our guests, especially if some of them were a little bit shy about buying it because of its reputation.”

(Now, if anyone’s wondering how Gideons found their way into hotels in the first place, the ever-informative Mental Floss can help you with that.)

Of course, the move was met with the expected response from a local man of the cloth. Rev. Michael Woodcock (talk about an unfortunate name for this context), told the Westmoreland Gazette, “It is a great shame that Bibles have been removed from rooms and very inappropriate to have been replaced by an explicit erotic novel. The Bible remains a source of comfort and inspiration that many people do find helpful.”

But this morning, a Catholic priest from this side of the pond weighed in with a different response. Fr. James Martin, who Colbert Report fans will recognize as the show’s unofficial chaplain, tweeted, “British hotel replaces bedside Bibles with #FiftyShadesofGrey. Dumb move: after all, the Bible has more sex.”

While we’re all hanging out in PopWatch land, irreverence is fair game, so I ask you, PopWatchers, what books would you rather see in your hotel drawer? If you want to stay in the realm of dirtier-than-you’d-expect romantic drama, you might as well put a complete works of Shakespeare in there. Or if you’re looking for another book that meets Woodcock’s “comfort and inspiration” requirements, well, heck, Harry Potter would work for me. Now if hotels could provide Snuggies along with this NSFW book, that would be service (and that, by the way, is what happens when you Google “Snuggie book”).

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