July 26, 2012 at 07:17 PM EDT

Team USA might want to stick to their original accents.

With the help of go-to cockney gangster Alan Ford (Brick Top in Guy Ritchie’s Snatch), a man so East-End-London he can fix a washing machine just by threatening it, several American Olympians give us their best cockney accent. Nice try guys and we appreciate the effort, but it’s bronze medals all round. You definitely get gold for your adorable misappropriations though.

Hat’s off to Logan Tom of the Indoor Volleyball team, who goes for the cockney-via-Ice Cube approach.

Wow, the Volleyball team’s interpretations are the best. Or worst. This time check out April Ross of the Beach Volleyball team with a spot on impression of Sam Elliott making a cup of tea.

Spenser Mango of the Wrestling squad is dead right Austen Powers is from London, he’s also a fictional character, however Mayor Boris Johnson is not.

While walking along the streets of London Gymnast Nastia Liukin hopes to see “the Big Ben”. Please, please Nastia, do not ask where the Big Ben is because you’re not going to like what you’re shown.

Related:

Olympics 2012: What’s on when

20 Olympic athlete stories to know

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