By James Hibberd
Updated June 20, 2012 at 08:42 PM EDT

CBS just playfully announced a new series: Dancing on the Stars. Taking a page from The Onion, the broadcaster released the following spoof-statement to the press. It’s the latest move in the network’s campaign against ABC’s Glass House, which the network says is too similar to its veteran summer hit Big Brother.

Remember, CBS is the home of three two CSIs, two NCISs and — if you count The Mentalist and the upcoming Elementary — two Sherlock Holmes-inspired crime shows. Nobody is allowed to rip off CBS other than CBS!

Check this out — hey, it’s CBS showing a sense of humor (kinda!):