After revealing her right nipple at an Istanbul concert last weekend, Madonna continued her No Fearing My 53-Year-Old Human Nature world tour by flashing her ass — this time, at a concert in Rome.

Eh. Fishnets over sheer stockings OVER an ass? She’s practically overdressed. I’m sorry but this “flash” is as fake as House Hunters.

Show me a permanent Vajazzling in the shape of a hydrangea by nightfall tomorrow or I will have certainly HUNG UP my interest in this publicity stunt!

But for now:


Should I start wearing tiny wrenches on my pants?

If I released an album featuring certain letters of my name in order, could it be N.E.T. and could it also be a reimagined soundtrack of The Net?

If Madonna had to choose one atrocity to live with, would she rather have hairy arms or non-prominent veins?

Maybe I’ll exercise this week.

I used to wear my No Fear tees with Umbros but the truth is I’ve always been afraid.

Will this list turn out to be the biggest accomplishment of my day?

Why am I crying?

How would YOU rank Madonna right now on the Damages Scale?

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