Johnny Depp’s hobo doppelganger John Mayer dropped by the Bravo clubhouse last night to appear on Andy Cohen’s Watch What Happens Live.

The singer, whose Born and Raised hit stores this week, displayed an intense self-awareness that verged on caginess at times. Which is not to say he wasn’t the same goofy guy who wrote about candy lips and bubblegum tongues 10 years ago (witness his doffing of a bedazzled Xtina-style hat).

So what did he have to say about his string of famous ex-girlfriends, the world’s second Sexiest Man Alive, and his recovery from the past year’s vocal troubles?

Andy Cohen wasted no time getting to the juicy questions during his dreaded Plead the Fifth segment. First question: “Shag, Marry, Kill — Taylor Swift, Jennifer Aniston, Jessica Simpson?” Mayer pled the fifth, insisting in his next question that he doesn’t consider any of his famous exes “the one that got away.”

Then things got real. Because he used his free pass on the first question, Mayer had to name a fellow celebrity with whom to “dip in the man pond.” Mayer qualified, “Full immersion?” That’s affirmative.

It didn’t take long for the “New Deep” singer to answer: Ryan Gosling. Said Mayer, “Unisexually, everybody would be, like, ‘How does that guy do it?'” Truth.

Mayer also addressed aesthetics issues. For starters, his infamous guitar face is not intentional. As for his new Laurel-Canyon-by-way-of-Montana look, he claimed his hair represented “free thinking,” though most viewers seemed more inclined to disagree. Last night’s poll was an old-fashioned landslide, with 77% of viewers urging Mayer “Cut it!”

Moving forward, Mayer said he’ll have another round of throat surgery later this year. In more pleasant news, he promised on the After Show not to return to the stand-up stage or the Twittersphere any time soon.

Now it’s your turn for a scientific Mayer hair poll, Music Mixers. Do you agree with WWHL viewers? Vote below!

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