Memoirist and reality-show bronze medalist Bristol Palin took to her blog yesterday to offer the world some thoughts on what she views as a double standard regarding President Obama’s expression of support for gay marriage. In her response, Palin focused exclusively on a throwaway comment made by Obama (“focusing on a throwaway comment” being the primary rhetorical methodology in the current political era).

At one point in his carefully-worded discussion, the president noted that one reason his position on gay marriage had evolved was his conversations with his daughters. Apparently, Malia and Sasha have schoolmates with gay parents — schoolmates who have not yet turned into heroin-addicted devil-worshipping goat-people. Palin took issue with that decision-making process, claiming that whenever a Christian conservative female runs for office, she faces questions about taking orders from their husband. “So let me get this straight,” she writes. “It’s a problem if my mom listened too much to my dad, but it’s a heroic act if the President made a massive change in policy position that could affect the entire nation after consulting with his teenage daughters?”

Anyone who reads the news and thinks about it for a moment can tell you that the president had plenty of practical reasons for his gay-marriage pronouncement: the election-year necessity of rallying his liberal base, the canny demographical logic which indicates that the oncoming generation of liberal and conservative voters support marriage equality, Vice-President Joe Biden’s inability to stop talking about Will & Grace at Cabinet meetings. But Palin doubles down on the Daughter Argument, noting that Obama really should have been a tougher parent. “It would’ve been helpful for him to explain to Malia and Sasha that while her friends’ parents are no doubt lovely people, that’s not a reason to change thousands of years of thinking about marriage.”

I agree. I wish there was a way to punish people who had big ideas about changing thousands of years about thinking. Maybe we can, like, nail those people to crosses, or something. Just throwing out ideas here.

Palin’s argument against this perceived hypocrisy concludes: “It would’ve been nice if the President would’ve been an actual leader and helped shape their thoughts instead of merely reflecting what many teenagers think after one too many episodes of Glee,” perhaps accidentally referencing a show that spent most of its first season developing a plotline about an unwed teenage mother who expresses herself by dancing to beloved pop standards in ridiculous costumes.

Follow Darren on Twitter: @EWDarrenFranich

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