May 08, 2012 at 05:48 PM EDT
Jeremy Sutton-Hibbert/Getty Images

Fans of The New Yorker‘s cartoon caption contest know the drill. In each issue, there’s a doodle with no description, and it’s up to the reader to supply the wittiest quip that explains it with a comic twist. After competing for several years and never winning, I can confirm that The New Yorker‘s contest is rigged. So let’s incorporate their concept for the photo to the right. You can clearly see what it is. (Click here for a larger version.)

Here’s my submission:

Arnold’s playful gag of dipping his right hand in mud before shaking did not amuse Pete, who struggled for several moments to see it right in front of his face.

Wait, wait…

It started with Botox, a simple eye tuck, and some special shots to stay energized, but unlike Schwarzenegger, Stallone never knew when to quit.

One more… (note the silhouette lower right)

Vader could breath easily for the first time in decades, knowing he’d finally brought about peace in his time.

I know you can do better. Have at it.

Read more:

Roger Ebert wins ‘New Yorker’ caption contest

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