'30 Rock' recap 'Queen of Jordan 2: Mystery of the Phantom Pooper'
On last night’s 30 Rock, we were treated to a second episode of Angie’s Bravo reality series Queen of Jordan. As I said the last time 30 Rock deviated from its regular format, I’m kind of obsessed with the fake show. And it’s definitely something I would watch on a regular basis. Now for all you haters who didn’t like it: RUDE!
Anyway, Angie was launching her fashion line, Cheek (pronounced Chic, it’s French!), her “stretchable formal wear for elegant plus-size women and huskier gays.” Unfortunately for Angie, no one was paying attention to her because of all the drama going on elsewhere. First, Jack got a call from the state department informing him that Avery would be returning from North Korea. The CIA captured a North Korean spy, and they were able to arrange a prisoner swap. “In exchange for my wife they get their spy back, a crate of Hollister sweatshirts, and a signed headshot of Don Johnson. They just got Nash Bridges.” But when Jack and his mother-in-law, Diana, were caught by the Queen of Jordan cameras talking about their romantic past, things got really awkward.
To throw the show off the scent, both Jack and Diana made up equally unbelievable stories. “I don’t think we should tell her about us” became Gus, and then Rus. (Gus being a fake business partner of Jack’s and Rus being the mythological founder of Russia. Duh.) To keep up with the ruse, they even opened up a restaurant during Angie’s fashion show. They thought they were finally in the clear, but then they kissed. Right in front of the cameras. Ooops!
Meanwhile, Liz managed to get into a feud with Virginia, Tracy’s toddler daughter. And you’re right. It was totally idiotic because she’s a baby! But it was also hilarious, and my favorite story line of the night. It started when Liz made an unfortunate comment about Virginia’s legs. And then Lemon made matters worse by showing up to the fashion show wearing the same outfit as the littlest Jordan (see above). But in the end, the two hugged it out and went on a girls trip to Somalia.
NEXT: The night’s best moments and lines!
++ Angie’s list of threats: “Reality star. Actress. Singer/Songreader. Perfumist. IBS survivor. Best-selling author of a book I didn’t write. Catchphrase coiner, ‘I’ll take that with cheese.’ Well, they don’t all work.”
++ “I would appreciate it if you guys at Bravo, excuse me gays at Bravo, handled this with the same delicacy with which you handled D’Fwan’s boyfriend’s pregnancy scare.” —Jack, Executive at NBC (a Television Network)
++ “Boob monster!” —Lisa Lampanelli? Liz Lemon
++ “Doctor guy, pilot guy, Cleveland dude, British guy, rich dude, James Franco.” —Tracy giving his reasons for believing Liz is a sex maniac
++ Pretty much every single scene with Virginia could make this list. But I particularly loved her scowling at Lemon after Liz threatened to gobble up her adorable little baby legs. RUDE!
++ D’Fwine please D’Fwink responsibly.
++ “Jenna, this is inappropriate. I suggest you go back to whatever Florida bathroom you crawled out of.” —Diana, Jack’s Mother-In-Law, Keeping It Tight
++ ” Oh, my god. Ned Stark is dead?!” —Grizz
++ “I love my wife. I want her to be happy. But more than that, I want to do nothing.” —Tracy
++ “Never talk about a black woman’s leg size. Not on babies, not on the Williams sisters, not on a mannequin at Avenue.” —D’Fwan
++ “I think I just solved the mystery of the phantom pooper.” —Tracy
++ “I wouldn’t know. I really don’t watch TV. I’m more of a masturbator.” —Tracy
++ “Everything I know about fashion I learned from my old college roommate, John Mark Karr.” —Kenneth, Not Worth Describing
++ “All I wanted was a standing ovation and for people to tweet that I was the new icon for black womanhood. And then for me to tweet, ‘why just black womanhood?'” —Angie
++ The line of people waiting to kiss Jack after he accidentally kissed Diana on camera
So what did you think of “Queen of Jordan 2: Mystery of the Phantom Pooper,” PopWatchers? Did you enjoy the second installment of Queen of Jordan? What was your favorite moment/line? And always remember, it’s my way till payday. And also for good measure, HAM!
Tina Fey, Alec Baldwin, and Tracy Morgan star in the Emmy-winning comedy. You want to go to there.