Credit: Randy Holmes/ABC
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First, let’s make one thing clear: I think I would watch a show called The Pig Trials. Particularly if the lawyers were humans and the bailiffs were horses. And I fully support any world in which the maximum sentence is bacon. But I digress. Last night’s “Southern Accents” wasn’t just about the pig trials. It was about Jules letting go of her hatred of Grayson’s baby mama Holly, and learning to accept her for who she is.

But acceptance didn’t come easy, especially after Jules walked in on Holly having a tongue party with Travis. Jules feared that she’d earn a spot in the hillbilly hall of fame — right next to her cousin Chestnut, who was murdered by his own pigs — if her granddaughter and step-daughter were sisters. Travis was just thinking with his danglies, Jules! Eventually, he helped Jules see that nothing serious was going to happen between him and Holly, and that she should be willing to look past all of Holly’s faults. Now I’ll pound grape to that!

On the wedding planning front, Jules decided she wanted a beach wedding. But a permit is required for that sort of thing. Unfortunately, the city only provides permits for beach parties, not beach weddings. To get her way, she’d have to take it up with the mayor. As it turned out, Roger (Barry Bostwick) is the mayor of Gulf Haven. And since the karma gods weren’t on Jules’ side this episode, Roger’s new wife happened to be Barb. (Welcome back, Barb!) Seeing that she probably wasn’t going to get her way with Roger in charge, Jules suggested that Andy run for mayor. Andy liked the plan — he would get to wear a top hat! — but Ellie selfishly vetoed the idea. But in the end, Ellie came around and gave Andy the go-ahead to run for office, as long as he met her long list of First Lady demands. Vote Torres 2012.

Meanwhile, after Bobby unintentionally offended one of Laurie’s Krazy Kakes customers, Laurie decided to break down racial barriers with a panel. Enter Sig, Andy, and Laurie’s Twitter boyfriend, Wade (Edwin Hodge), via Skype. Laurie & Co. temporarily cured all with the panel. “If there is one thing that we’ve learned from Michelle Pfeiffer in Dangerous Minds or Sandy Bullock in The Blind Side or Hilary Swank in that movie no one ever saw, it’s that all you need to fix minority problems is a really pretty white woman.” And if that doesn’t work, you can always send a talking threat cake: “I’m coming for you, bitch!

NEXT: The night’s best moments and lines!

++ Jules: “She always wants to hang and connect with me over tequila shots.”

Grayson: “Just say no.”

Jules: “I can’t say no to tequila. That’s why Travis exists.”

++ The title card: “Hey, would you and your friends watch a show called ‘Pig Trials’? Watch the episode, get back to us #pigtrials”

++ “She’s way too young to have that many stories about losing teeth.” —Jules, talking about Holly

++ Bobby hitting the speed bump in his golf cart

++ “What an adorable engagement ring. It’s like my ring had a baby.” —Barb

++ “This town needs a new mayor. And not one that’s in bed with big business. That’s what Barb calls her private parts.” —Jules

++ “You know who’d be great? John Mayer. Mayor Mayer. It sounds really funny, plus, he could totally shake things up. In my pants!” —Laurie

++ “Plus, you would look so great kissing a baby. Cause you kind of look like a baby. And everyone knows there’s nothing cuter than a baby kissing a baby.” —Ellie, on why Andy would make a good mayor

++ “I don’t really like when my food talks to me. It’s why I don’t eat monkeys.” —Bobby

++ “One time, I asked this blind lady when her baby was due. Turns out she wasn’t pregnant, and she wasn’t even a lady. But he really was blind, which was good because when he went to go throw his coffee at me, he totally missed! And he hit a real pregnant lady. And I was like, ‘Dude you’re such a jerk! You just hit a real pregnant lady.’ And then it turns out she wasn’t pregnant either, so…” —Laurie, who else?

++ “It’s like life is flashing before my eyes. I should have drunk more wine.” —Jules

++ Andy trying to clean the mirror with his spit

++ Travis: “How are you still speaking clearly?”

Ellie: “It’s only white.”

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