By Annie Barrett
May 01, 2012 at 12:00 PM EDT
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Blog Image Credit: Everett

Studies have shown that Hidden Gems of the Week, EW.com’s collection of reader-submitted ridiculata, is the best way to enjoy Dancing With the Stars without ever having to turn it on. It’s a visual feast of sparkles, fringe, and stunning awkwardness. Ready to go down the rabbit hole? Behold this bountiful smattering of Visible Gems!

MOST VALUABLE GEM (MVG) OF THE WEEK:

“The sweat running down William’s chest is perfectly vertical next to his suspenders.” —DonnaW, endorsed by Amy in KC

“William was absolutely glistening at the end of the show. It’s like his sweat had transformed into tiny bits of glitter on Planet Mirrorballus.” —MLM

[BONUS SHOT FROM BEHIND.]

“Creepily hidden hands, clapping the curtain, as Katherine and Mark ran up the stairs.” —Kevin M. Kawa, endorsed by Anthony, Twickenham

“Was it the Phantom of Planet Mirrorballus? Bet his mask is heavily bedazzled.” —kfran

“The ghost of Johann Pachelbel? Perhaps perturbed that his beloved melody was used in the dance of love? Or perturbed that it was danced by a shirtless, cape-wearing bugaboo?” —WiltedYouth

“It looked like one of Mark’s tattoos is a cartoon bubble of dialog.” —jmm, endorsed by duranmom

“Leave it to Maks to send us off to commercial with a quick flash of his rear end! This man knows how his bread gets buttered!!” —SpeechTeacher89, endorsed by Kevin, orville1970, WiltedYouth, kfran

YouTube

“I just saw Reverend Camden (7th Heaven, anyone?) in the audience! I smell a future contestant!!” —SpeechTeacher89, endorsed by duranmom, Amy in KC

Bob Mahoney/The CW

“The stained glass images on the floor during Cheryl and William’s dance” —MLM

WILSON WEBB/TWC

“William is by far the sweatiest star. The good thing about that is it makes him extra sparkly. It’s like gems all over his forehead.” —Jem H, endorsed by ADC, Lorie

“The shot of William’s son getting kisses from him sister was too cute!” —drniknak, endorsed by orville1970, duranmom, jam, Bvonly, MLM

<img class=”alignnone size-full wp-image-196947″ title=”“Donald’s rehearsal shorts are so baggy they look like a skirt.” —DonnaW

<img class=”alignnone size-full wp-image-196948″ title=”<3 “Peta was literally wearing her heart on her shoulder during rehearsal.” —Liz, endorsed by Kevin

<img class=”alignnone size-full wp-image-196949″ title=”<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 “Ooh, at the end of Donald and Peta’s dance the spotlights on the floor formed the shape of a heart.” —Cindy

NEXT PAGE: Derek leaves some of his juices on the floor

Paul Drinkwater/NBC file

“The lighting after Donald’s dance made it look like a woman in the audience was wearing long white gloves.  How appropriate for classical week!” —MLM

Screen Grabs/CBS

“Maks ‘WTF’ face when the opera singer dipped the microphone…priceless!” —AshleyBrooke

Mark Levine/ABC

“Peta’s extra-sassy ‘whew!’ hand gesture after Lift Police Officer Inahhhh-ber claimed to have not seen their lift.” —Fringe Fairy

“The benevolent spirit of Gavin DeGraw shall never leave the celestial fringe and sparkle of Mirrorballus as long as there are heads to keep his hats happy.” —WiltedYouth, endorsed by Liz, Fridgedancer, Colleen, chattypatra

“When Donald and Peta were getting the judges’ critiques, William’s son had his head on his Mommy’s lap and his sister was gone. They are so cute!” —daphne99

Andrew Toth/Getty Images

“Did Derek drool on the floor?” —Electronic_Neko

NEXT PAGE: Team Tango thinks they’re in Rocky Horror

“Oh geez…Maria is crying because she’s ‘not a dancer.’ Okayyyy….” —Amy in KC

“There are no more body parts to break, so now we have to see her HEART is broken. :(” —SpeechTeacher89, endorsed by orville1970, Amy in KC, Lorie, WiltedYouth, Jem H

“All the HWB Singers are just sitting politely like naughty children in Time Out – one even looks like she’s sleeping at the start of Maria and Derek’s dance! Princess Sparkle is now Princess Aurora.” —Coconutkel, endorsed by Bvonly, Liz

Everett Collection

“Didn’t Jaleel’s uniform look a bit like Rolfe’s Nazi uniform from The Sound of Music?” —KB

“Jaleel’s costume looks like Sarah’s father in A Little Princess” —Colleen

” Reminded me of the hunter in the Disney Tarzan movie. I can’t remember his name — the one that wanted to shoot all the gorillas.” —Cindy

“Clayton, right?” —Amy in KC

“Jaleel White looked just like Van Pelt from Jumanji. Seriously.” —Anthony

“Before Jaleel and Kym’s dance, Kym was on the dance floor with her dress spread around her. She looked half-human, half-pink octopus. Or maybe like the love child of Glinda the Good Witch and Ursula from The Little Mermaid.” —Carly

Andrew Toth/Getty Images file

“Maybe Melissa Gilbert is a Downton Abbey fan and couldn’t fathom Jaleel pulling off the Earl of Grantham role.” —WiltedYouth, endorsed by Jem H, I love BB, chattypatra, Liz

“Brooke-bot looked like a bride surrounded by groomsmen when Team Tango was being interviewed in the Celebriquarium.” —TracyR

“I loved how every single member of Team Tango and Team Paso all took turns standing on Brooke Burke CHARVET’s immensely ugly dress. ” —Anthony

Bells

“Team Tango’s little kick-line dance just brought all sort of Rocky Horror Picture Show images to mind. ‘Let’s do the Time Warp agaaaaain!'” —orville1970, endorsed by SpeechTeacher89, Jem H, Bvonly

“When Tom introduced Harold Wheeler, the stairs behind him looked like they were sprouting from his shoulders.” —chattypatra, endorsed by Fridgedancer, WiltedYouth

Greg Mooney

“I was trying to catch Mark rolling his eyes when Len said there was the good, the bad & the ugly…and then I caught Derek’s face.” —Meg Walsh

NEXT PAGE: Orchestral Gems for Classical Night!

“Lady Gaga, throughout the night, on violin.” —Kevin, endorsed by orville1970

“Was that Hagrid playing the cello?” —Amy in KC

Richard Cartwright

“Thoroughly Professional Violinist was all over the place!” —Jem H, endorsed by orville1970, MLM

“Intensely Jealous Violinist giving a side-eye glare to Joshua Bell during the opening number for stealing the HWB thunder. ” —Jem H

Jon Kopaloff/FilmMagic

“Loving Completely Focused Oboe Player tonight. You know he is relishing in his airtime.” —xorp

Getty Images

“I think the tympani player borrowed one of Gavin’s hats.” —DonnaW, endorsed by ADC, Colleen, chattypatra, Electronic_Neko

“The guy on the xylophone (?) looks as if he could be an Observer on Fringe.” —orville1970, endorsed by Anthony

ABC

“I felt bad for the woman in the orchestra (I couldn’t tell what she was playing) who was sitting all the way on the right by herself all night. Did she draw the short straw to sit way over there by herself? I mean, even the harpist got to get up and leave when she wasn’t playing.” —pancake

“With the massive amount of cleavage Princess Sparkle was mounting, maybe she was trying to tell us she doesn’t want to be called ‘Princess’ anymore. She’s a full-fledged Queen!! —Katie

NEXT PAGE: Really Obvious Gems

REALLY OBVIOUS GEMS:

“Val showing us his vodka gut is the very definition of glasnost.” —Amy in Pittsburgh, endorsed by Liz, chattypatra, Amy in KC (“I like it; it puts him more in my league!”), Jem H, Tricia, Bettyski

Michael Weaver/Fox

“Maks was looking up so much, it was almost like he was beckoning the mirrorball gods to smite the judges for their bad comments.” —pancake, endorsed by DonnaW, Colleen, Jem H, MLM, ADC (who compared Maks to the Hulk), MLM

Sven Frenzel/The CW

“The koala holding the ’10’ paddle desperately wants to be a (not-so-hidden) gem!” —WiltedYouth, endorsed by Amy in KC, DonnaW, Jem H, chattypatra, SpeechTeacher89, Liz

Sven Frenzel/The CW

“Piano keys for Classical Night behind Brookebot in the celebriquarium” —Colleen, endorsed by chattypatra, Amy in KC

“The criss-cross rhinestones on Brooke’s dress remind me of a gunfighter’s ammo (my son tells me it’s called a bandolier).” —DonnaW

Greg Mooney

“The floor during Chelsie and Roshon’s dance looked like the background on my Mac after I put Leopard on it.” —Liz, endorsed by WiltedYouth and Colleen (“it truly is Planet Mirrorballus!”), Fringe Fairy

Roger Kisby/Getty Images

“Tom’s facial expression when Bruno told Roshon ‘Size is not everything.'” —chattypatra, endorsed by duranmom, Bvonly, WiltedYouth, Jem H, orville1970, kellen, Ktbanks, kfran

“Donald sticking his tongue out as he pretended to kiss Peta’s hand.” —chattypatra, endorsed by SM

“My daughter said that Peta’s dress looks like Belle from Beauty and the Beast.” —duranmom, endorsed by Electronic_Neko, hmm, Bvonly

“Bruno and his harem of shirtless men.” —Liz

“Not hidden at all, but most definitely gems….Team Shirtless! Pick your favorite moment Annie, and give us a screengrab. Please.  :)” —Jem H

“Is this paso a preview of Magic Mike?” #ThankYouWardrobeDept” —@BVielhaber

LIFE-AFFIRMING GEM (LAG):

James Dimagiba

“As Tom was introducing Jackie Evancho, he moved and it looked as if the chandelier behind him was a crown he was wearing.” —chattypatra, endorsed by WiltedYouth

Thank you, DANCMSTRs one and all, for a fabulous heap of gems!

Follow @EWAnnieBarrett

Read more:

‘Dancing With the Stars’ recap: Orchestral Mirrorballs in the Dark

‘DWTS’: Your Hidden Gems of Motown Week!

Was Len Goodman the original inspiration for Flashdance?!

All of Annie’s ‘DWTS’ episode recaps

Episode Recaps

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  • 03/21/11
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