By Annie Barrett
Updated August 03, 2020 at 07:00 PM EDT
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Studies have shown that Hidden Gems of the Week, EW.com’s collection of reader-submitted ridiculata, is the best way to enjoy Dancing With the Stars without ever having to turn it on. It’s a visual feast of sparkles, fringe, and stunning awkwardness. Ready to go down the rabbit hole? Behold this bountiful smattering of Visible Gems!

MOST VALUABLE GEM (MVG) OF THE WEEK:

“Maks’ pants in rehearsal… eek. Can’t call that Little Maks.” —Tricia, endorsed by Lars

“What’s the male equivalent of a cameltoe? Cause Maks was rocking it really hard.” —Freakinfatone, endorsed by Tricia

“Banana hammock?” —TVC

“Moose knuckle!” —gigi

“Elephant Bunion?” —SpeechTeacher89

“Did you see the dancing music stand partnered with the trumpet player in the opening number? Would Bruno have given it a 10?” —SSC (Sexy Senior Citizen) aka Woodberryrz’s Mom (welcome!)

“The adorable double spin by Donald and Peta in the bottom right corner of the screen, right after we were inexplicably denied seeing them walk down the stairs.” —Jenn, endorsed by Nikki, Anthony

“Derek was pulling up Maria’s white sleeves as if he were worried her elbows would show too much skin ala 1845. Sir, my decency!” —Rachael L

“I keep waiting for Tristan to ask me if I wanna Fanta.” —Liz, endorsed by Electronic_Neko, SpeechTeacher89, orville1970, daphne99

“Tristan, rocking the glasses, was a dead-ringer for Tobey Maguire in Spider-Man.” —Kevin M. Kawa

“Tristan was a Temptation this week! As if he isn’t one already, eh Annie? ;)” —WiltedYouth

“Why yes, Tristan, I do need tutoring in Calculus this year!!” —Traci M in the ATL

“There is a guy wearing a black shirt who looks like he’s holding small mirrorball on his lap while Bruno is critiquing Gladys and Tristan.” —duranmom

“A sweet surprise kiss from Maks? Gladys is a lucky lady!” —Colleen, SpeechTeacher89, Fridgedancer, orville1970, duranmom, Anthony

Donald Driver’s Packers jersey in the audience. BALLROOM SCANDAL: WHY WASN’T IT SPARKLY?! “I was wondering how someone so underdressed gained not only gained access to Planet Mirroballus, but was seated right behind Berry Gordy.” —pancake, endorsed by DonnaW, Colleen, orville1970, jmm, Fridgedancer, DebraD, Kevin, Woodberryz, Tracy, Paul

“The reflection of Maria’s dress on the floor looked like bouncing gems” —DebraD

“The gentleman to the left of Carrie Ann looks like the creepy old neighbor with the shovel from Home Alone. ” —Liz

“Is that ‘the Most Interesting Man in the World’ from Dos Equis behind Carrie Ann tonight? ‘I don’t always dance — but when I do — I prefer to do it with the Stars'” —glitterati, endorsed by WiltedYouth, LAG Award Winner

“Vincent Price is ALIIIIIIIIIVE!!! And sitting right behind Carrie Ann!” —Paul

NEXT PAGE: It’s all about the Mini Drivers

“Mark’s British Flag socks during rehearsal — his British accent is coming out more and more this season working with Katherine.” —Woodberryz, endorsed by DonnaW, endorsed by Colleen, Johoallen, Kevin

“When Katherine and Mark were practicing, my Mom hollered ‘Mark touched his wiener! I think that’s a hidden gem!’ Maybe Mark was just checking on his hidden gems….” —DebraD, endorsed by Amy in KC, Tracy, Anthony

“Random waving orange hand at the bottom of the screen when the judges were giving Katherine and Mark their scores. Creepy!!!!” —Liz

“Mini Driver dancing in the front row to the music in his head and also wearing a hat from the Gavin DeGraw collection.” —Fridgedancer, endorsed by Amy in PIttsburgh, Colleen, jmm, DebraD

“Donald’s daughter was ready to whip Len for that fake-out!” —jmm. endorsed by Electronic_Neko, DonnaW, gigi, WiltedYouth, DebraD

“Len knocking Donald off his feet with his “exploding” comment, then Tom’s face at Len’s final comments. Annie, PLEASE grab a screen shot of Tom’s face!!!” —iggy, endorsed by Denise

“Tristan laughing and falling off the couch as Maks and Melissa walked upstairs. I really want to know what was so funny!!!!” —Tricia, endorsed by Cindy, Lorie, Fridgedancer, Amy in PIttsburgh, chattypatra, DebraD, Anthony, Twickenham

Tristan explains it all in his EW.com blog! He’s a regular Maybe he should have been partnered with Melissa Joan Hart!

NEXT PAGE: Smokey Robinson wants a kiss from Val. Stars: They’re just like us!

“DANCMSTR taking Fauxtown literally and looking over his shoulder when they instructed him to.” —Liz, endorsed by orviille19780

“Derek’s look to Maria in the celebriquarium after Jaleel’s dance like “Hmmm, yeah, that was pretty good…” —Colleen, endorsed by WiltedYouth

“Cheryl saying ‘And here’s where we just look at each other the whole time’ while giving a sideline glance to the camera.” —Amy in KC, endorsed by chattypatra

“Bruno’s face during Len’s hip movement demonstration!” —Electronic_Neko

“The lady behind Cameron Mathison had an ‘oh hell!’ look as the camera zoomed in.” —gigi

“Len and Carrie Ann dancing together to Smokey!” —jmm, endorsed by chattypatra

“Smokey looked like he was waiting for a peck from Val, too.” —Amy in KC, endorsed by Electronic_Neko

“Smokey’s belt is full of gems!” –Amy in KC, endorsed by Lorie, Kevin, Woodberryz

“Anna and Val are dressed like the B52’s in the ‘Love Shack’ video” —Fridgedancer

“Our favorite former-pro Lady Legwarmers left a pair behind for Anna TreBUNskaya to wear on her arms tonight!” —Leah

“This is my inner Doctor Who fan coming out, but to me it looked like when Katherine and Mark won the dance marathon, she did the same dance that the Doctor did at Amy and Rory’s wedding. Bonus, she was in the the 2011 christmas episode. Maybe the TARDIS made a pit stop on Planet Mirrorballus?” —Dance_fan1123

NEXT PAGE: Really Obvious Gems and this week’s LAG

REALLY OBVIOUS GEMS:

“WORLDS LARGEST DISCO BALL SIGHTING!” —Bella88

“$10 it’s about to abduct all these singers as soon as the show is over, take back their tans and glitter, and spit them all back out more dazed and confused than how they came.” —Cindy

“It must have been a neighboring planet orbiting too close to Mirrorballus. Or maybe it was Mirrorballus’ moon Discoballus?” —WiltedYouth

“Gems galore all over Smokey’s jacket! He must know about us gem hunters!” —Colleen, endorsed by chattypatra

“Derek Hough bowed to her royal highness Gladys Knight: He’s not worthy!” —Anthony

“Jeez Mark, do you have to put that MJ one hand shake into ALL your dances?” —iggy, endorsed by Fridgedancer, Colleen

“Okay so Mark is reminding me a cross between Mr. Peanut and Chris Kattan as “Mango” on SNL.” —Liz

“Maks shaking his rear in Tristan’s face during his interview with Brooke.” —Jen

“Lawd help me. Now all I can see when Maks is on the screen is Ross Gellar. Tonight he was Ross dressed up a suit in the one where he was accepting an award and everyone was late. ” —Liz

“Jaleel’s Mom has taken over the magnificent freak out from the departed Sherri.” —orville1970

“I bet Jaleel enjoyed the view from that lift.” —Amy in KC

LIFE-AFFIRMING GEM (LAG) OF THE WEEK:

“This probably won’t make a lick of sense, but when Maria was being spun around during her foxtrot and the camera cut to the aerial shot, her dress looked like an undulating blob of silvery, glittery plasma indigenous to the temporal climate of Planet Mirrorballus. Plasma that only appears when the regular house band is replaced with competent vocalists, mind you.” —WiltedYouth

Thank you, DANCMSTRs one and all, for a fabulous heap of gems!

Read more:

Ask Annie anything about ‘Dancing With the Stars’ (or whatever) in the video player below. To see her answers to previous questions, click on the text links below the picture. This is *not* liiiiiiive!

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Dancing With the Stars

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  • 28
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network
  • ABC

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