Is it too early to campaign for a full-time role for Kevin’s daughter, Catherine? The young girl — who was essentially a young Liz Lemon — might just be my new favorite character. And Lemon could totally use another mentor. I’m pretty confident Cat (Bebe Wood) would teach her a lot. Jack set Lemon up with “Sent from one of my four iPads” Kevin. Jack wanted to give her one final chance to see what she might be missing out on by staying with Criss. But that Jack, he’s always got something up his sleeve. The date was actually a play date with the aforementioned Cat, so Lemon would not give up her dream of having a kid. That Princess Leia costume isn’t going to Liddy just yet.
Meanwhile, Jack was trying to market the new KableTown couch. But in his effort to create more American jobs, Jack did not foresee the problem with hiring American engineers: “All they teach us now is how to build roller coasters and Survivor challenges.” The resulting couch was terrible, and that’s probably an understatement. Jack had to regroup and attempt to create a market for terrible couches and sell discomfort. But that’s an easy task when you can just sell to the government! The end of the episode cut to the CIA using the uncomfortable couch as a torture device. And they learned some valuable information from their prisoner: “I know how to get Avery Jessup home!” See what they did there? Foreshadowing!
Over in crazy town, Jenna was faking a celebrity breakdown because it’s totally the new sex tape. Plus as Jenna pointed out, “anyone who’s anyone has had a breakdown: Demi, Demi, Heather, Lindsay, Britney, Moammar. So sad. A life cut short. He gave the best diamonds.” It was her grand scheme to get Paul back in her life. And since they’re both bananas, the plan totally worked!
NEXT PAGE: The night’s best moments and lines (and there were a lot!)
++ Liz: “Clean up, clean up, do your own housework you little crackers…”
Liz: “My kindergarten teacher was a former Black Panther.”
++ “You know what? Murphy Brown lied to us! She had Eldin.” —The line that inspired the episode’s title
++ “Let’s face it. Murphy Brown had the who FYI gang in her corner. Jim Dial, Frank Fontana, Corky, even Miles in his own way.” —
Adolph Liz Lemon
++ The American KouchTown commercials with Stacy Keach, a fabulous parody of Clint Eastwood’s Chrysler commercial
++ “Lemon, do you know you are sitting on 5,000 new jobs? And not jobs that came from some government bailout. They came from a rich white guy.” —Jack
++ “I’m meeting with the vendors tomorrow. Raymour and his conjoined twin Flanigan Ashley of Ashley furniture will be there.” —Jack
++ Liz: “Well good luck fixing America. I hope success isn’t far, far away.”
Jack: “What about Star Wars do you want to say, Lemon? Let’s just get to it.”
++ Lemon: “I’m going to stop you at Kevin. Has anyone ever known a good person named Kevin?”
Jack: “Kevin Garnett helped me move once. Kevin Costner cooked me dinner after a bad breakup. Kevin Sorbo introduced me to his podiatrist.”
++ “When you have a breakdown, all your old lovers come out of the woodwork. Justin and K Fed. Bruce and Ashton. Samantha Ronson and Herbie the Love Bug.” —Jenna
++ “Jenna, did Hamlet start the play by stabbing people? No. He started by being boring and ruining my anniversary cause Angie wanted to take advantage of all the great theater in New York.” —Tracy
++ Liz sitting in the prototype couch and then falling to the floor because her whole body was asleep
++ Jenna Kanye-ing the Spelling Bee and her Lindsay Lohan mug shot/car shot
++ Jack confessing his natural hair color is bright red
++ “I issued a statement on your behalf using Twitter, a media-savvy crackhead I know.” —Tracy
++ Liz: “Well, it’s hard to force a nickname. I tried to get my high school tennis team to call me Ace, but they wanted to call me Shorts Accident. So we settled on Super Virgin.”
Cat: “Okay, so I might not get Scout, but I can negotiate up from Puked In Thermos.”
++ Kevin: “You ski?”
Lemon: “I don’t. You know, if I’m going to fall down a hill and die I want to do it for free.”
++ Liz: “This is Cat, Kevin’s daughter. She’s awesome, unlike Kevin, who is wearing a rope bracelet.”
Cat: “And I did not give it to him. People assume I gave it to him, but I’m like, ‘you’re not pinning that on me.'”
What did you think of “Murphy Brown Lied to Us”? Did Murphy Brown lie? Did you enjoy Cat as much as I did? Do you think Liz and Criss will really have a kid? And how soon do you think Avery will return? Sound off in the comments.