Hit List: April 20, 2012

1. Matt Lauer inks reported $25 million-per-year deal to remain on Today, develop programming for NBC
A fifth hour of Today will feature him perched on a mountain of cash and swigging from a bottle of Cristal while taunting Kathie Lee and Hoda, ”Welcome to the power hour, beyotches!”

2. Star Trek‘s Nichelle Nichols shares photo of herself with President Obama giving Vulcan salute
Mitt Romney responded by staging a photo op with C-3PO, but it hit a snag when his motherboard malfunctioned. Luckily, C-3PO lent Romney his spare.

3. Miley Cyrus tweets: ”Highly considering moving back to Nashville. I can’t stand these D Bag paparazzi anymore”
”But to the rest of u paparazzi,” she continued, ”I’ll send the new address soon ;-)”

4. Ryan Gosling, who broke up Manhattan street fight last year, saves woman from getting hit by taxi
In fact, the pilot program has been so successful, the NYPD plans to put 200 new Goslings on the street by early 2013.

5. Snoop Dogg releasing smokable songbook of his lyrics, with pages that can be used as rolling papers
It’s projected to sell well, as doctors in California alone have already written 420 prescriptions for it.

6. NBC plans reality show that ”honors America’s veterans” by having stars tackle military challenges
I guess Saving Private Ryan O’Neal is one way to pay tribute to our heroes.

7. Madonna tweets Britney: ”please come on stage and kiss me again”
Ohhhh, so that’s what that was. I thought they were just Silverstoning.

8. On new song ”Theraflu,” Kanye West says he fell in love with Kim Kardashian
So, in conclusion, Kanye West has dubious taste in women and song titles.

9. 72-acre property in North Carolina that doubled as District 12 in The Hunger Games up for sale for $1.4 million

Haven’t seen the movie yet, but it sounds like a wonderful place to raise kids.