By Annie Barrett
Updated April 10, 2012 at 12:00 PM EDT
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Dancing With the Stars

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  • ABC
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Studies have shown that Hidden Gems of the Week, EW.com’s collection of reader-submitted ridiculata, is the best way to enjoy Dancing With the Stars without ever having to turn it on. It’s a visual feast of sparkles, fringe, and stunning awkwardness. Ready to go down the rabbit hole? Behold this bountiful smattering of Visible Gems!

MOST VALUABLE GEM (MVG) OF THE WEEK:

“After William learned some moves from Steel Panther and he got back into practicing in his grey t-shirt, his sweat formed a heart shape right in the middle of his chest! Sigh…” —Rebecca

“Zoom-in on Improbably Manicured Guitarist right before Impeccably Manicured Trumpeter’s chance to shine as usual…only on Rock Week!” —Fringe Fairy

“My hidden gem is the hairy eye ball Donald Driver’s son gave after the intros when the camera panned by. He was not loving Rock Week at that point!” —jmm, endorsed by Forever1267, WiltedYouth

“Val’s knuckles said it all: SHEP-HERD.” —Anthony, endorsed by daphne99

“I love that Sherri had to hold up the ‘girls’ as she ran up the stairs to Brookebot Mountain. I have done that many a time myself.” —daphne99, endorsed by chattypatra, tango2, Jem H

“The Queen-inspired ‘Que?’ poster at the top of the staircase” —Coconutkel, endorsed by orville2970, Lady Pirate, Lorie, ktbanks, Anthony, Jem H

“All the ‘vandalized’ posters up the staircase to the celebriquarium. Ooohhh, so rebelious! ” —Reality

“The whole vibe of the “back staircase” was gemilicious to me – the lighting, the black stairs, hanging mirrorballs, etc……it’s like we discovered a secret only previously known to the inhabitants of our favorite planet!” —Lin

NEXT PAGE: Happy Rock Eek!

“Tristan trying out his own version of Thai Boxing after Katherine and Mark got their scores!!” —Liz, endorsed by Twickenham

“If you squint really hard, the gold parts of Maks’ outfit go away and it looks like he’s wearing a verrry skimpy black loincloth…” —Amy in KC

“Love when Maks is lying on the floor at the end of their dance, and you can see him crack a little smile when Melissa steps on him with her heel.” —ktbanks

“Speaking of tongues — Maks sticking his tongue out of the side of his mouth when Len said he had slipped during the dance.” —MLM

“The ginormous flaming ‘ROCK WEEK’ sign was mostly hidden when Tom was in the balcony introducing Donald, so it just said ‘EEK.’ This sums up my feelings about so many things tonight…the troupe guys’ costumes and the horrid Bohemian Rhapsody vocals, just to name a few for example.” —Jem H, endorsed by Lisa in Colorado

“Donald’s “tickling” Peta up from the floor at the end = so cute.” —Amy in KC

“Sherri giving the “God is REAL!” hand raise after Donald (Draper) Driver’s dance.” —Gemma Teller

NEXT PAGE: Don’t let the bandana rhinestones drag you down

“Sherri’s son Jeffrey with his hands over his ears during the Harold Wheeler Band’s awful opening of ‘Bohemian Rhapsody.’ We feel for you kid!” —Liz, endorsed by HAN, ktbanks, SpeechTeacher89

“Are those tiny gems on Gladys’s eyelashes?” —Colleen, endorsed by Neko, DonnaW, SpeechTeacher89, orville1970, Jem H, chattypatra, WiltedYouth (“Empress of Soul…Empress of Gems. Gladys never fails to look fine!”)

“Did anyone notice that Gladys’ dress look like a rock n’ roll version of Mila Hermanovski’s Papua New Guinea gown from episode 8 of Project Runway: All Stars? I mean the black is the still same length on dress & arm. The red was replaced by silver w/ the same length & arms & no yellow down the middle. I’m wondering if this was a costume designer shout-out to a former co-worker. Mila was the designer on DWTS for the non dancers around the time she first appeared on Project Runway. (Only reason I remember Mila’s dress is because of Michael Kors’ comment, ‘I get Communism from this dress.’)” —Dance costume geek, endorsed by Amy in PIttsburgh, Colleen, Karen, Stee

“Holy Crushed Velvet– It’s Little Richard in the crowd!!!” —SpeechTeacher89, endorsed by orville1970, Liz, KaulyJo, Amy in KC, Lorie, chicachico, Neko, daphne99, Jem H, Amy in Pittsburgh

“William’s son has a faux-hawk too! Seems to be a requirement for the celebrity kids this week. A completely adorable requirement.” —orville1970, endorsed by duranmom

“William has rhinestones on his bandanna!” —DonnaW

LIFE-AFFIRMING GEM (LAG): Just because I cherish all of your explanations and use of key terms

“FLYING GEMS!!! Chelsie’s dress is shedding!” —Colleen, endorsed by DonnaW, orville1970, Anon19, CaptainMissAmerica, Tkemoses, sparklyjess, Anthony, Lola, Jem H, WiltedYouth, Lexi, akhhka, Garance, Tay, Kevin M. Kawa, Flying Gems, zoot

“It’s either that or the Sparkaliens are attempting to beam her up!” —CaptainMissAmerica

“I thought she was throwing Sparkalien essence to us at home so we would remember to vote for them.” —pancake

“Pretty sure any liquid that emanates from the lady pros turns into either glitter or gems. It’s the atmosphere of Planet Mirrorballus…no liquid can remain standing for long without naturally becoming sparkly.” —WiltedYouth

NEXT PAGE: A seething Hasselhoff

“Donald’s ‘love tap’ to Roshon’s bottom…haha!” –Amy in KC

Don’t tell me i’m the only one who thought Maria was actually Anne Hathaway circa 2001, a.k.a. Mia Thermopolis in The Princess Diaries.” —kellen, endorsed by duranmom

“I think it came off more like Miss Jane Hathaway, from Beverly Hillbillies.” —DonnaW

“The sign that says ‘Heaven this way.’ LOVE. ” —Liz, endorsed by jmm, LAG Award Winner, Anthony, WiltedYouth, JennRett

“But then when Derek was carrying Maria up the stairs, the curtain was covering it partially so it appropriately said ‘Heave this way.'” —Jem H

Fun fact: The photo used for DANCMSTR Len’s “Iron Goodman” poster last night may have looked familiar…

….It first popped up last season on ’80s Night. Tom Bergeron had referred to Eighties Len as “a cross between Gene Simmons and Orville Redenbacher.”

(Photoshopped image featured in Your ‘DWTS’ Hidden Gems of Season 13, Week 5. A relic!)

I’m hoping for a Metallica-inspired “DANCMSTR of Puppets” poster in season 15.

“Before Maria and Derek’s scores, David Hasselhoff glowered at Tom as if he wished he had Tom’s job.” —WiltedYouth, endorsed by MLM

“I’m getting a cross between A Clockwork Orange and Level 42’s “Something About You” video.” —orville1970, endorsed by Amy in Pittsburgh

“Gavin looks a little like a healthier version of Scott Weiland from Stone Temple Pilots.” —DonnaW, endorsed by SpeechTeacher89

“So did Gavin steal his costume from the Mad Hatter on Once Upon a Time?” —Jaime

“The Pips’ standing O for Gavin. Even off the clock they do things in unison.” —gigi, endorsed by orville1970, duranmom

“Harold Wheeler giving one last peek to all of us of his Kiss makeup, looking like a mime stalker behind Tom & Brooke at the very end.” —Jem H, endorsed by orville1970, ktbanks, duranmom, Anthony

NEXT PAGE: Glaringly Obvious Gems

GLARINGLY OBVIOUS GEMS

“Oh my. The men of our ‘DWTS Troupe’ looked like hard-core mimes during that first number. I was worried we were going to see a very gymnastic killing spree occur.” —Jennie_linden, endorsed by Amy in PIttsburgh, kfran

“They looked like they were auditioning for Mr Mistoffelees in CATS.” —JenPK, endorsed by Jem H

“William looks ridiculously hot in leopard stretch pants and mullet wig…just saying.” —gigi, endorsed by chattypatra

“Not so hidden gem: The judges’ confused faces as “Stonehenge” is lowered into the ballroom” —Colleen, endorsed by Amy in KC, Jem H

“It’s Maria’s personal Greek chorus in the audience! John Stamos, Nia Vardalos, and Rita Wilson.” —orville1970, endorsed by SpeechTeacher89, WiltedYouth, ktbanks, KaulyJo, Kaity, gigi, drniknak, IheartTRISTAN, Lacey, MLM

“Hidden gem: Food Network Giada’s impressively sized head poking out from behind Rita Wilson after Maria and Derek’s dance.” —GemSighting

“The real hidden gem: Zachary Levi (presumably not Greek?) sitting next to John Stamos. They only showed his shoulder. He tweeted about being there.” —Mambada, endorsed by Argem

TYPICALLY UNSPOKEN GEM (TUG) OF THE WEEK:

“Maks: ‘Please don’t step on my jewels.’ We might’ve known that on DWTS the male dancers would have private parts replaced with gems.” —DonnaW, endorsed by Amy in KC, Neko, duranmom, orville1970

Thank you, DANCMSTRs one and all, for a fabulous heap of gems!

Read more:

Ask Annie anything about ‘Dancing With the Stars’ (or whatever) in the video player below. To see her answers to previous questions, click on the text links below the picture. This is *not* liiiiiiive! and she is not really sitting there right now. She updates a few times per week.

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Dancing With the Stars

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  • ABC

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