By Annie Barrett
Updated April 03, 2012 at 12:00 PM EDT

Studies have shown that Hidden Gems of the Week, EW.com’s collection of reader-submitted ridiculata, is the best way to enjoy Dancing With the Stars without ever having to turn it on. It’s a visual feast of sparkles, fringe, and stunning awkwardness. Ready to go down the rabbit hole? Behold this bountiful smattering of Visible Gems!

MOST VALUABLE GEM (MVG) OF THE WEEK: WHATEVER I TOUCH, STARTS TO MELT IN MY CLUTCH, ESPECIALLY WHEN I DO THE SAMBA

“Jack’s costume looks like the Heat Meiser from The Year Without a Santa Claus” —Fridgedancer, endorsed by SpeechTeacher89, Bvonly, DWTS Prodigal, Kevin M. Kawa

“Jack’s shirt shows the gradual progression of skin-tone over the course of the show: starting out normal, and slowly increasing to a bright orange hue.” —kellen

“Jack’s shirt reminded me of one of my favorite drinks in college — the Singapore Sling.” —MLM

“Carmen/Princess Sparkle’s rockin’ the famous 1983 Diana Ross concert in Central Park look! I LOVE IT.” —Amy in Pittsburgh, endorsed by Jem H

“Jack Wagner handing off his guitar to Maks and Val for safekeeping while talking to Brooke-bot.” —DonnaW, endorsed by Colleen

“Maria’s shirt in her intro package looked like Little Orphan Annie…it’s a hard knock life when you (supposedly) have broken ribs and you have to dance and wrestle” —Jem H, endorsed by Colleen, Jenn

“Are there little-tiny mirrorballs threaded through Maria’s up-do?” —DonnaW, endorsed by SpeechTeacher89

“The chick to the left of Tristan as he was looking hopefully at the door before he and Gladys had their ‘date.’ She had this expression of, ‘Oh, yeah, I want me some Lucky Charms!”” —TristanMacManusFans

“Even Gladys’s door frame has glitter on it! I shouldn’t expect anything less from Planet Mirrorballus.” —Colleen

NEXT PAGE: Hat-less Gavin DeGraw stops being polite, and starts getting real violent

“Tristan’s special look at the camera and secret eyebrow raise/smile just for me :) (after Len asked if he could be a Pip)” —Jem H

“Donald giving Gladys the Wayne’s World ‘we’re not worthy’ bow as she was doing her post-dance interview” —MLM

“At the beginning of Roshon’s dance he stood at the top of the staircase and a stray gem of mirrorball magic bedazzled his bellybutton!” —amhay

“Gavin degraw is Professor Quirell! Voldemort’s under that hat!” —TRE

“Gavin, hatless, with a big Frankenstein forehead, giving Karina the iconic Frankenstein arms stretched out pose.” —Kevin M. Kawa

“Karina’s necklace is the mini version of Gavin’s. She’s dimes and he’s quarters!” —Carmella

“After Gavin DeGraw went to meet with Brooke Burke CHARVET, his excitement caused her to drop all her cards. Sacre Bleu!” —Anthony

“Brooke’s dress looks like a PopChips bag” —Carmella

“I love how the Blonde Debbie Gibson lookalike behind Carrie Ann keeps staring seductively at the camera and tossing her hair whenever Carrie Ann’s talking. Such a camera flirt!” —Liz, endorsed by duranmom, LAG Award Winner

NEXT PAGE: Cheryl’s dress unleashes the Spanish-speaking Sesame Street monster within

“Tom fanning his butt, pre-Katherine & Derek dance. Sure it was the hot spotlight, Tom…” —Kevin M. Kawa, endorsed by Jem H

“New favorite audience member: When Tom was introducing Katherine and Mark there was an older woman with grey hair, glass, and a turquoise blazer with bright orange flowers who was hooting and hollering with the best of them. Loved her enthusiasm!” —Liz, endorsed by LAG Award Winner, daphne99, SunBlitz42, Jem H, MLM

“Aww, Peta’s crying up in the Skybox.” —orville1970, endorsed by duranmom, Liz, jmm

“Very sweet moment, but part of me thought she was crying glitter. Could you imagine? Anything can happen on Planet Mirrorballus, and glitter tears are certainly not out of the question.” —WiltedYouth

“I don’t know why, but I got a giggle out of Val getting left hanging at the end of their dance while Sherri took off to go hug her son (who was playing the part of Coco Arquette tonight for our dose of adorableness)” —Jem H

“Tristan sitting Indian style/criss-cross-applesauce style on his pot of gold (pot ‘o gold?) after Sherri’s dance in the skybox (celebriquarium).” —Leah

“In rehearsal Melissa Gilbert was sitting on the Little House on the Prairie bench, it’s like we’ve been waiting for years for that to become a reality. ” —daphne99

“Cheryl is Rosita from Sesame Street. William is Gerardo.” —Amy in KC

“This might be a little random, but was Officer Sweetchuck from Police Academy in the audience after William and Cheryl’s dance?” —Amy in Pittsburgh

“Tom ‘pulling us in’ when they came back from commercial before Donald danced. Don’t worry Tom, we’re here! The gemhunters will never leave you!” —Jem H

NEXT PAGE: Creepy Gem and Glaringly Obvious Gems

CREEPY GEM

“Okay, did anyone else get a WWII Germany vibe from the Mirrorballs flanking the stage during Roshon’s dance??? With the red background graphics and the white mirrorballs that had a black shadow on them, I was thinking we entered the Opening of the Ark scene from Raiders of the Lost Ark territory!” —I. Stein, confirmed by Neko, Patrycja

GLARINGLY OBVIOUS GEMS

“Umm…I know it was quite visible…but Annie, I think a screen cap of Gavin motor boating Karina is only right (or wrong in certain contexts)” —Mickey021496

“Sherri’s son is too precious!” —Lorie, endorsed by Fridgedancer

“Maks has a tattoo on his side! Why am I just finding this out after 14 seasons?!” —Colleen

“I had a thought. Maks’ buttocks should borrow one of Randy Jackson’s sparkly pins!” —@aprohike

LIFE-AFFIRMING GEM (LAG) OF THE WEEK:

“Aw, hell. Nothing on William is hidden. I quit.” —Liz, endorsed by Amy in PIttsburgh, orville1970, Bvonly

Thank you, DANCMSTRs one and all, for a fabulous heap of gems!

Follow @EWAnnieBarrett

Read more:

‘Dancing With the Stars’ week 3 recap: The Bawl Room

Tristan MacManus blogs week 3, describes bounty of Irish tattoos

‘DWTS’ to feature sneak peek of Disney doomsday film starring William Levy

‘Dancing With the Stars’: Your Hidden Gems of Week 2!

All of Annie’s ‘DWTS’ episode recaps

Ask Annie anything about ‘Dancing With the Stars’ (or whatever) in the video player below. To see her answers to previous questions, click on the text links below the picture. This is *not* liiiiiiive! and she is not really sitting there right now. She updates a few times per week.

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