By Lisa Schwarzbaum
March 29, 2012 at 10:20 PM EDT

Will the thousands of women currently pleasuring themselves with Fifty Shades of Grey on e-readers also buy tickets to the movie adaptation? Some Hollywood types are dubious. Of course, these may be the same Hollywood types who didn’t win the auction for the movie rights to E L James’s wildly popular, graphically erotic story of kinky stuff between an innocent young thing and her lover with a taste for domination. Or they may be onto something, understanding that’s what hot in the imagination of a reader inevitably loses something in the visual translation. (One woman’s fantasy is another woman’s ewwww.)

There’s also an issue of public-versus-private enjoyment: It’s one (deliciously secret) thing to sneak in some sexytime with an e-reader, but quite another to sit in a movie theater surrounded by hundreds of other women — and men — watching Flap A get inserted into Slot B on a big screen. These are the times that cry out for a cable TV adaptation — something no-holds-barred from HBO or AMC or Showtime! Something a woman can secretly watch on a tablet. Am I right? Would you watch? And if so, where?

Read more:

Who would you cast in ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’?

‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ — EW review

‘Fifty Shades of Grey’: A winning romance novel goes from fan fiction to viral hit

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