By Darren Franich
March 27, 2012 at 06:32 PM EDT

This Sunday, the trailer for the upcoming Total Recall remake will hit Apple Trailers. In anticipation of that blessed event, which has now ruined your plans for the weekend, Columbia has released a 30-second teaser for the trailer. First impressions: It looks like a less candy-colored Fifth Element, Kate Beckinsale looks angry, and in just 30 seconds the teaser fits in over a dozen Inception foghorn sounds, which is surely a new record. Wouldn’t it be great if someone made a whole movie where the soundtrack was just Inception foghorns?

Alas, for fans of the original, nowhere in these 30 seconds is there a sighting of the long-promised three-breasted mutant prostitute, but we’ll keep hoping that the movie finds room for the three-breasted mutant prostitute, mostly because it gives us the chance to write the words “three-breasted mutant prostitute,” which is a phrase we never get to use when we write about The Hunger Games. Watch the trailer teaser:

Follow Darren on Twitter: @EWDarrenFranich

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