By Michelle Profis
Updated March 19, 2012 at 04:25 PM EDT

The ladies of one-name names, Gaga and Oprah, sat down for an episode of Oprah’s Next Chapter last night to plumb the depths of the pop star’s mind. In a surprisingly demure (yet still Gaga-esque) red trench-coat dress, Gaga opened up on several topics, including her desire for her own Little Monsters, how she deals (or doesn’t) with the media, and the one thing that scares her. Check out highlights of the interview below, with a video after the jump:

On starting a family:

“I want kids. I want a soccer team. I want a husband. I don’t want to have one kid, I want to have a few. I want to experience that.”

On the dangling meat creation she wore to the 2010 VMAs:

“I kind of liked it. You know why? I don’t like talking to celebrities. So I figured if it stinks, they won’t come close. “

On her creative process:

“I don’t read a damn thing. No press, no television. If my mom calls and says, ‘Did you hear about?’ I don’t want to know nothing about anything that is going on in relation to music. I shut it all off. Other than this interview, Oprah, I do not intend to speak to anyone for a very long time.”

The only thing that scares her:

“I just want my family to be safe. Because I am sometimes polarizing, I fear for their safety.”

The one thing Mama Gaga doesn’t approve of:

“She doesn’t like when I swear. When I’m on stage and I say something like that, if she’s off to the side with my father, I see my father chuckle and my mother goes… [shakes head disapprovingly].”

Speaking of her mother, Cynthia Germanotta also turned up to describe to Oprah her impressions of her daughter’s early performances: “Honestly, [her father] said, ‘I think she has a screw loose,’ ” she said, referring to when they saw her light hairspray on fire. Clearly they had no idea their daughter would go on to take the red carpet in an egg or sport a lobster headpiece.[youtube+]

Thoughts, PopWatchers? Are you already placing bets on how long Gaga’s media silence will last? Guesses on what she might name her future Little Monsters?

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