By Darren Franich
Updated March 12, 2012 at 07:00 PM EDT

AMC Theatres is encouraging a nation of young geeks to skip school on May 3 by hosting a Marvel movie marathon, leading up to a midnight screening of Joss Whedon’s hotly-anticipated Avengers (or, as it’s known in Anatolia: Super Spin-Off Battalion Squad, Part 6 — Battalion Squad Convene!!!). The fun starts at 11:30 with the beloved Iron Man, at which point fun will take a break for The Incredible Hulk (which is worse than you remember) and Iron Man 2 (which is better than you remember but still worse than it should’ve been.)

At that point, your Cherry Coke buzz will be wearing off, and your mouth will be dry from three refills of your large popcorn, so you’ll be in the perfect mood for Thor and Captain America, also known as “The Handsome Chris Duet.” Presumably by the time The Avengers starts playing at midnight, your theater will have devolved into caveman Lord of the Flies antics, with Iron Man partisans firing flashlight lasers at the Captain America supporters’ papier-mâché shields, while the world’s only Hawkeye fan tries and fails to use his archery skills to impress the chick dressed as Black Widow.

In short, the only thing that could possible make this marathon better would be if Marvel sneaks in a spin-off about Marvel movie mascot Agent Coulson. Let’s call it Phil Coulson: Secret Agent, Man.

Follow Darren on Twitter: @EWDarrenFranich

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Captain America

  • Movie
  • PG-13
  • 97 minutes
  • Albert Pyun