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The Idler Wheel Is Wiser Than the Driver of the Screw and Whipping Cords Will Serve You More Than Ropes Will Ever Do

Oh, Fiona. How we’ve missed her! Her music, her proto-American Apparel videos, her predictably unpredictable nature.

In her absence, we’ve settled for the likes of Lana Del Rey and Paz de la Huerta, which has been whatever. But thankfully, Apple’s back this year, and to celebrate, she’s giving the world what she knows it wants: another alarmingly long album title.

It’s 67 words shorter than than her last long-titled album, but the songstress’ new one is still a 23-word-deep doozy. Here it is in all its randomly capitalized glory:

The Idler Wheel is wiser than the Driver of the Screw, and Whipping Cords will serve you more than Ropes will ever do.

The album, Apple’s fourth — and first since 2005’s Extraordinary Machine — doesn’t have a firm release date yet, though June is reportedly in the running. But the even bigger mystery is: what do we call it?

The Idler Wheel is the obvious choice, but judging by the title’s capitalization, there are more options, including: Driver of the Screw, Whipping Cords, and Ropes. Or you could go rogue and refer to it as Serve You More, or even Wiser Than.

Either way, we feel sorry for the intern at Epic Records who’ll be spending her summer composing tweets with the hashtag #theidlerwheeeliswiserthanthedriverofthescrewandwhippingcordswillserveyoumorethanropeswilleverdo.

Readers, what’s your favorite ever paragraph-as-album-title?

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