Ice Cube
Credit: Ken McCoy/PR Photos

The Internet is almost always used as a tool for evil, allowing criminals to access our bank accounts, marketers to try to sell us genital enhancement, and Kirk Cameron to promote his weird little movie about a monument that makes him cry.

And that’s OK, because there are enough adorable photos of kittens and the entirety of the greatest season of the Real World/Road Rules Challenge to keep us from rising up and setting servers ablaze from coast to coast.

Every once in a while, though, there are moments of incredible, transcendent greatness. Over the past few weeks, fans of both hip-hop and CSI-style investigating were in the thrall of a blogger who deduced that he had determined the exact day around which Ice Cube’s legendary hit “It Was a Good Day” was based. Cube drops a handful of clues throughout the track, including the fact that the Lakers beat the SuperSonics, there was no smog, and beepers were in use.

Need a refresher course? Spin “It Was a Good Day” below.

At the end of the day, the blog decided that the official “good day” was January 20, 1992. Happily ever after, right?

Except that a week later, a second blogger took a different look at the evidence, noting that the initial timeline of beeper availability was off, as was the series of events that led to Cube moving out of his mom’s house. The new date? November 30, 1988.

Of course, it was only a matter of time before somebody checked in with Cube himself, and it turns out that the real date was something we all should have seen coming all along: It doesn’t exist.

“It’s a fictional song,” Cube explained during an interview with Moviefone about 21 Jump Street. “It’s basically my interpretation of what a great day would be. Do you know what I’m saying? So, you know, it’s a little of this and a little of that. I don’t think you can pinpoint the day.” He did note, however, that he probably had good days on both of the dates suggested. (We’re inclined to agree, because he’s Ice Cube, and it seems like being Ice Cube has always been awesome.)

It’s pretty clear that the song was a fantasy from the beginning—after all, there’s no evidence that the Goodyear blimp ever said, “Ice Cube’s a pimp.” But now that this whole thing has gone down, he should really put together a sequel, which would probably involve him visiting Eames houses.

Now on to the next one: What day do we think Mudhoney’s “Today Was a Good Day” is about? It must be pretty easy to find a day when the cows were “milking blood,” right?