Credit: Karen Neal/ABC
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I’m making a pledge here and now, fellow Happy Endings fans. No, not to participate in a cleanse, because that looks awful and I’d probably wind up on a ledge like Penny. Rather, I pledge not to declare that an episode of Happy Endings is the funniest one of this season until said season is over. I so badly want to declare last night’s episode, titled “Cocktails & Dreams” the funniest (everyone had a storyline that clicked) but I fear I’ll have spoken too soon as the episodes only seem to get better each week. That said, there’s no way anything will be funnier than Damon Wayans Jr.‘s scream at the breakfast table, so I’m declaring that the most hilarious moment with no hesitation. So until the finale (nooooo), let’s talk about last night’s funny (possibly funniest) episode.

Surprisingly enough, the most serious storyline of the night (well as serious as a storyline with mooning can be) was Max, who was going through a crisis with his near-perfect beau Grant. Max, like anyone falling in love, went into total panic about the state of the relationship now and in the future. I never thought I’d say this, but between his decision to take a break from Grant to figure out what he wants for himself and having serious, honest talks, Max may just be the most mature, evolving character on Happy Endings… who sometimes flashes his butt at bars.

Things could also be getting very serious again for Dave and Alex, as the ex-fiances found themselves in bed together by the end of the episode. Dave, who had spent the better part of the episode turning his food truck into a hipster-friendly speakeasy, befriending Colin Hanks (as himself, in full self-mocking mode à la Neil Patrick Harris in Harold and Kumar), and becoming a sexy Freddy Kruger to Brad, Jane, Penny, and eventually Max, thanks to his turpentine-infused drinks. (Fun fact: If Dave inceptions your sex dreams tonight, it will be set to the tune of Gerry Rafferty’s “Baker Street.”)

Alex, meanwhile, got caught up in a cleanse craze with Penny. Craze being the operative word, as Penny became suicidal and wore things like pajoveralls (I wonder if they, too, came from the Angela Basset pants line?), and Alex inadvertently joined a vegan group that engaged in orgies (led by guest star Paul Scheer.) Either way, all this madness lead Alex and Dustin Dave back into each others arms, leaving us to wonder whether his proposal to her was really so stupid after all.

While I hope Happy Endings doesn’t send Dave and Alex into full Ross and Rachel mode over the next few seasons (though, as Brad noted, they technically are the group’s Ross and Rachel), I do hope the writers continue to give Zachary Knighton and Elisha Cuthbert such great material. What were initially the show’s weakest characters have turned into comedic heavy-hitters like the rest of the gang. And now…

The best visuals from last night’s Happy Endings:

— Alex’s table keg

— Alex’s Pirate Puffs cereal, which Penny rightly pointed out looked “alarmingly similar” to the rat poison

— Max walking over the couch to get a frittata, or egg pizza, if you will, from Grant

— Jane, Brad, and Penny all simultaneously waking up from their Dave sex dreams

— Penny AND Grant reading Kris Jenner’s memoir Kris Jenner…and all things Kardashian at separate points in the episode

— Dave appearing in Freddy Kruger garb

— Max, holding his horses. Literally.

— Grant + Max 4eva tee shirts. (I want one! I can wear it on the days my Spring Smackdown shirts are in the wash.)

The best lines from last night’s Happy Endings:

— “Uh, yeah David. I did take a whore’s bath. I had a one night stand and didn’t have time for a shower. So did I rub some dryer sheets on my pits and splash some water on my hush in the bathroom of an Au Bon Pain? Yes, I did!” — Penny, giving a Sandra Bernhard-like diatribe, before realizing Whore’s Bath was the name of Dave’s drink

— “Bitch, it is 5:30!” — Brad, giving “Them thiiiiings” a run for its money as Happy Endings best catch phrase

— “Didn’t you have a sex dream about Fran Sinclair, the mom dinosaur from Dinosaurs?” — Jane, to Brad during their sex dreams argument. (Brad’s response? “Exactly.”)

“I don’t want your life!” — Penny to Jane, after she revealed her Varsity Blues sex dream involved Jon Voight coaching them

— “I signed us up for a mini-triathlon. So if anyone asks, we’re dwarves” — Alex… bless her heart.

— “You said the same thing about Krippendorf’s Tribe and now it is one of my favorite movies” — Max, about trying new things

— “This morning I didn’t want frittatas and now if you told me I could never have one again, I would kill you in cold blood, assassin-style” — Max

— “I’m kind of the Sean Brumder of my group” — Dave, to Colin Hanks

What did you think of “Cocktails & Dreams”? Funniest episode of the season? (What? You said it, not me!) Are you hoping Max and Grant reunite sooner than later? What about Dave and Alex? Or would you rather see Penny explore her feelings for Dave? Could you, like me, watch an entire episode of Damon Wayans Jr. screaming in terror? Share in the comments section below.

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Happy Endings
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