Remember all those many months ago, when you purchased a brand new iPad 2? Didn’t the happy little device seemed so young and full of life? It was so much faster than its dilapidated father, the crusty old iPad 1 — not to mention skinnier! Alas, the year has not been kind to your iPad 2. It’s grown old and weary, covered with the dust of a million grubby fingerprints. But there’s good news on the horizon. The state-socialism fanboys at beloved megacorporation Apple have just sent out a press invitation for a mysterious-but-not-really event on March 7. The invitation comes with an image (above) which features a finger lovingly caressing an iPad. Subtitle: “We have something you really have to see. And touch.” Hello, nurse!

Everyone expects that the “something” will be the iPad 3, although Apple could not be reached for comment, presumably because everyone at Apple is too busy playing with their new iPad 3. It’s entirely possible that this will be an iPhone 5-esque bait-and-switch — the iPad 2S? — but Apple’s stock has already soared to a record level off the iPad 3 rumors. In all likelihood, you can just throw your iPad 2 into the sad little box of obsolete once-beautiful Apple technology where you also keep your iPad 1, your iPhone no-G, your iPod Mini, and your iMac. Hey, wouldn’t that be a great cast for the remake of The Brave Little Toaster?

Follow Darren on Twitter: @EWDarrenFranich

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