30 Rock
Credit: Ali Goldstein/NBC
30 Rock
  • TV Show
  • NBC

Oh, Elizabeth Lemon. Don’t you worry. You’re not the only one following the rules of being a human being. But since I live in New York City, too, I totally feel your pain. And perhaps NYC is overrated. During last night’s “The Tuxedo Begins,” Jack and Liz were debating this very issue. Liz was irritated that everyone around her seemed to be incapable of following the simple rules of living. (You let the people out of the subway car before you enter. Come on!)

Meanwhile, Jack got mugged by a middle-aged white man wearing a button-down shirt and Dockers in a construction tunnel. He saw the attack as a wake-up call to better care for the rich, and naturally, decided he should run for mayor. (Oh, 30 Rock. You’ve really been mirroring real life this season. First Tracy, and now this.) While Jack was trying to rise above all that is wrong with the city, Liz decided to sink down into the filth. And sink she did, as she attempted to lead a life of no rules. Essentially this meant wearing an old-lady wig, acting more crazy than usual, and turning into the Joker.

And that’s when Batman Jack stepped in to save the day. He put his fears aside and attacked the Joker Lemon (don’t worry, she’s fine) and everyone saw the good in him. Gotham New York City no longer needed him. So we won’t be seeing Mayor Donaghy anytime soon.

The night’s B story followed Jenna and Paul as they started their own new sexual fetish called “normaling.” Really, this was just behaving as a normal couple would. I think Will Forte is hilarious as Paul. But this story line was totally lost on me. I’d rather see Liz Lemon dresses as a crazy old person any day.

NEXT: The night’s best lines…

++ “5th Avenue was closed. They’re having a joint pain walk-a-thon. It’s only four blocks, but they are so slow.” —Jack explaining why he’d be late to work

++ “The train’s going express for no reason.” If you live (or have ever lived) in NYC, all of the jabs at the subway system were priceless.

++ “I quote: ‘She is a thug in a cocktail dress.’ Alex McCord. Real Housewives of New York.” —Lemon

++ When Liz sneezed into her arm (like Obama taught her), you could see Jesus in her sneeze residue! (This is probably the weirdest sentence I’ve ever typed.)

++ “It’s like Jay-Z says: Concrete bung hole where dreams are made up. There’s nothing you can do.” —Liz, slightly altering the words to “Empire State of Mind

++ “Is that brain? Hopefully it’s not an important parg of my blern.” —Liz, and I think it must have been an important parg of her blern

++ “Really Trump? My idea is stupid? Well you make your hair every morning by sticking your head in a cotton candy machine.” —Jack

++ “Plaxico Burress just called our idea poorly thought out. Then hung up by shooting his own phone.” —Tracy

++ “Vote for Jack Donaghy. Slogan to come.” —Jack, whose campaign website is, so it’s not confused with any porn sites. (And this website does not exist. I checked.)

++ Liddy was away at a baby leadership conference (!)

++ “Perfectly executed Chewbacca sound!” —A young Tracy

++ “I am sick. Sick like a fox. I’m going to clear out the whole theater and watch a sneak peek of the Hunger Games by myself! It will be my greatest triumph.” —Lemon with her second Hunger Games reference of the season!

++ “Come on, Donaghy. You’ve skied Mount St. Helens. Made eye contact with Michele Bachmann. Been trapped under a boulder for 128 hours You’re not scared of anything.” —Jack

What was your favorite part of last night’s episode? Somebody’s favorite always gets left off the list. Did you love Liz Lemon’s facial expressions when she was the faux Joker as much as I did? Sound off in the comments, or I’ll have to send Jack “The Batman” Donaghy after you.

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30 Rock
30 Rock

Tina Fey, Alec Baldwin, and Tracy Morgan star in the Emmy-winning comedy. You want to go to there.

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