'Cougar Town' season 3 premiere
Everybody cheers with your personal Big Carl/Joe/[insert name here]! After an extremely long hiatus, Cougar Town finally returned last night with its season 3 premiere, “Ain’t Love Strange.” And “yeah, it’s still called Cougar Town. We’re not happy about it either,” so said the title card. But I can assure you that after months of promoting the show with a unique grassroots campaign, the cul-de-sac crew couldn’t be happier that their show is back on the air. And since you’re reading this, I’m guessing you are too. So let’s get right to it.
In true Laurie style, over the hiatus our little Jelly Bean got into a brawl during an “Eat. Pray. Tampa.” adventure. She was then forced to wear an ankle monitor. The highlight of this particular plot line was that she fashioned a matching one out of electrical tape for devil baby Stan. Yup, that’s right. Stan is now a hammer-wielding devil baby that Andy and Ellie “this should be the gang” Torres fear.
Travis, seemingly over his quarter-life crisis, was back at college where he’d moved into a two-bedroom house. The residence came equipped with nine other guys, at least two of whom are named Steve, and an amazing homemade green screen. Bobby wanted dog Travis to move in with human Travis, but essentially played a minor role the episode.
But I’ve really buried the lede here: Grayson proposed to Jules!! And it was completely adorable, and surprisingly well-coordinated with yesterday’s Feb. 14 holiday. Here’s how it all went down: Jules was upset that Grayson thought she was too predictable, and she didn’t want their relationship to be boring. In a seemingly unrelated event, Jules yelled at some young skate rats with
attractive dirty hair, and they sharked(!) her car. So as part of Operation Revengeance, she toilet-papered their house.
But it was all part of Grayson’s Operation Proposal. He sharked her car and had Laurie give her a fake address to T.P. that house, playing right in to her predictability. Grayson, in turn, gave Jules the perfect fairy-tale proposal. And of course she said yes. All together now: Awwww!
NEXT: The night’s best lines and moments…
The best lines and moments from “Ain’t Love Strange”:
++ Those necklace-style wine glass holders, making it totally acceptable to drink wine. All. The. Time.
++ “…And I want to do all the talking, because when it comes to love, I’m a street rappin’ poet yo!”—Jules talking about her perfect proposal
++ “I’m going to have to throw my ‘too creepy’ flag!”—Laurie to creeptastic Tom
++ Jules: “Get ready for Operation Revengeance.”
Ellie: “Not a word.”
Jules: “Stop being so precisional.”
++ Andy: “He is a handful, but he’s got spirit.”
Ellie: “The spirit of the devil!”
++ Devil Stan doing “what what” with Laurie after she said they were separated at birth
++ “It’s my Everest.”—Grayson on sleeping with Jules while she has her mouth guard on
++ “Don’t leave me! Prison’s great. You can get those neat teardrop tattoos.” —Jules
++ All of the green screen moments qualify for the best moments, but I was particularly fond of tiny, ventriloquist Travis and Bobby and Andy pretending to fly while holding hands
++ Andy using the toilet paper hanging off the tree to wipe his eyes after the proposal
++ And for your reading pleasure, “Jules’ Slightly Longer Morning Routine Song” in its entirety:
“I’m not predictable you say/Perhaps it’s true/But when you wake/Here’s what you’ll do…/Brush your teeth/Wash your face/Check your nose just in case/Eat your breakfast/Bacon and eggers/Take your pill/So you don’t get preggers…/Find your mouth guard/Check your mail/Work out time/If it’s late you fail/Where’s your mouth guard/You threw it away/It’s all the same every day/But we don’t mind/We’re glad to wait/Cause we all know/That right at 8/You’ll come downstairs/And on our knees/All together: Coffee please!/It’s Jules’ slightly longer morning routine song.
So, PopWatchers, what did you think of the Cougar Town season 3 premiere? Do you own your sneezes in public? And did you get a little teary like I did during that precious proposal? (Yeah, I’ll admit it. But that Ed Sheeran song!) Okay, your turn to talk about the show. Sound off in the comments below.