By Lanford Beard
Updated February 14, 2012 at 07:26 PM EST
Modern Family
Credit: Karen Neal/ABC
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It’s here, sweethearts! The day of blood sugar-spiking chocolates, overpriced greeting cards, overly complicated Garry Marshall movies, and, uh, inept role-playing exercises (is that a champagne bucket on your nether regions, or are just happy to see me, Clive Bixby?). In honor of Valentine’s Day, we thought we’d take a look at some of our loveliest posts. Below, we present celebratory plans of attack for saps and singles alike.

The honeymoon phase

As that raspy rake Louis Armstrong said, when you’re smiling, the whole world smiles at you. The same goes for being in love. At least that’s what you’re thinking since you’re in a brand new relationship to the tune of our “25 Best Love Songs Ever!” gallery. Celebrate your fellow romantics as you coo at the cutest couples from this year’s Grammys. Check out the greatest sparklevamp/awkward waif love story ever told, and practice your smoldering looks with Edward Cullen himself. Want to impress your new paramour? Mix up some pop culture cocktails and clink your glasses. (Note: We don’t recommend drinking all the cocktails in one go because your night — and, likely, your relationship — will be over entirely too early.)

Taking the relationship to the next level

Maybe you’ve been in a relationship for a little while now and want to step up your game. See what worked and what didn’t with our “Losin’ It on TV: 11 Lessons.” You want your intimate introductions to one another to be Glee-ful, not up Dawson’s Creek without a paddle. If you’ve already crossed that bridge, there’s always room for improvement. Michael “Nine Iron” Fassbender and Ryan Gosling can show you the way to undress to impress. If you’re past the honeymoon phase and looking forward to an actual honeymoon, take inspiration from some of the most glamorous weddings of the last year. (Hint: Most of them lasted longer than 72 days!)

Are you lonesome tonight?

Take schadenfreude-y pleasure in the marriages that lasted about as long as a stick of gum or count your lucky stars you’re not making out with any of these guys. You obviously won’t be indulging in the songs above, so give in to the tears and listen to six-time Grammy winner Adele on repeat until it’s Feb. 15, when her rousing rendition of “Rolling in the Deep” from this Sunday’s Grammys can simply go back to being a damn good song instead of a battle cry. (Did you know that song was inspired by gang slang? True that double true.)

Now it’s over to you, PopWatchers? How will you be celebrating this Valentine’s Day? Single or a deux? With chocolates and flowers or Adele and Aperol?

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