Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter seems like an easy sell for American audiences. After all, we all spent our elementary school years learning all about the beloved 16th President of the United States, and his lifelong battle against the bloodsucking race of vampires who killed his mother. But unfortunately, the rest of the world doesn’t share America’s commitment to education, so it’s possible that audiences in other countries have never realized that the American Civil War was actually caused by vampires for some stupid reason. Fortunately, the producers of AL:VH have now followed up yesterday’s moody, mostly wordless trailer with an equally moody but slightly more wordful international trailer that provides 100 percent more Dominic Cooper, who plays Honest Abe’s vampire-hunting mentor. “If vengeance is all you seek, we will never be able to save mankind,” says Cooper. “Fight this war with me. Not for one man. For the world.” Watch the trailer:

Still unclear: Will this movie address the longstanding rumor that Abe Lincoln was later resurrected as John F. Kennedy, only to relive the same horrible cycle of his life all over again. People! They both had Vice Presidents named Johnson! And they both had seven letters in their last name! Johnson + Seven = The Number 23!

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‘Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter’ frees bloodsuckers to be evil again

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
  • Movie
  • 105 minutes
  • Timur Bekmambetov