30 Rock
Credit: Ali Goldstein/NBC

We were treated to another hour-long dose of 30 Rock last night. And while season 6 has been off to a fabulous start, I have to say “Hey, Baby, What’s Wrong” was a bit lackluster. Compared to some of the previous Valentine’s Day episode — referenced in the new episode with some well-placed flashbacks — I didn’t think it held up the high standard of hilarity that 30 Rock typically has. Just me? Perhaps.

Anyway, Liz and Criss attempted to get through a shopping trip to IKEA without ruining their relationship. Not an easy task, says anyone who has ever been to IKEA. They left the store without the table the went in for, but Criss saved the day with his homemade tree branch/Herman Cain-poster table. Who cares if it broke?

Thanks to Avery’s detainment in North Korea, Jack took up golf to relieve his sexual frustrations. And he almost broke after he spent time his mother-in-law, Diana (guest star Mary Steenburgen). They bonded after a bizarre trip to the United Nations in an attempt to return the “beautiful, white American” Avery to her rightful home. As it turned out the driving range worked for both of them! Cheating averted.

During the rest of the hour, Tracy and Frank, the suavest(?) members of the TGS staff tried to help Lutz land a lady for Valentine’s Day. As you can imagine, this didn’t go over too well but the trio did bond over some IKEA meatballs. That’s something, right? Jenna and Pete learned an important lesson about the yips. (They should have taken lessons from Barney Stinson or Shawn Spencer!) In the end, Pete got to put his archery skills back in action and Jenna did not have to jump back up her mother. And in the strangest story line of the night, we learned Hazel Wassername is a total creeper. She kind of makes Kenneth look normal, right? And clearly, she has a total girl crush on Liz Lemon. Lackluster or not, folks, this IS 30 Rock so the episode had plenty of fabulous moments. So…

UP NEXT: The night’s best moments/exchanges…

++ Liz Lemon woke up in true fat-kid style with an off-brand Pringles can stuck to her hand. She immediately started eating them.

++ Props for Mr. Criss Cross using this clip to wake Liz up on League of Women Voters Day, not to be confused with Anna Howard Shaw Day or Scumbag Christmas

++ Lemon growled like a tiger!! (I wish I had a clip to post. That sentence doesn’t do it justice.)

++ “Just come out and say you haven’t had…mommy daddy sheet monster times.” —Liz referring to sex

++ “I’ve never had a mother-in-law, but I have seen Everybody Loves Raymond!” —Liz

++ “What is she? And Egyptian crocodile? Be cause she is in DEnile. I’ve had two coffees!” —Liz

++ “I wouldn’t know anything about being too old for something.” —Kenneth, who continues to elude the truth about his age

++ “Lutz, prepare for the adventure of a lifetime! And after we watch Fievel Goes West, we’re going to get you some action!” —Tracy (But seriously. This is a fabulous movie. Read this post and then watch it.)

++ “And like all celebrities, I’m very good at shifting the blame. I attacked Nancy Kerrigan.” —Jenna

++ “I did [Weight] Watchers to stay pageant fit. But it was too much math for a 6-year-old. Thank God I found cigarettes.” —Jenna

++ Jack: “I am a very powerful man. I can see to it that Transylvania never sees another episode of Friends.

C. Cjokula*: “No! Monica and Chandler just slept together in London.”

*Pronounced C. Chocula, the UN representative from Transylvania!

++ Jack: “Admit the UN is useless.

Cjokula: “It is. Half the building is a laser tag arena.”

Diana: “Admit it’s annoying when Bono comes around.”

Cjokula: “Oh, it’s the worst. Every time he says he’s not hungry when we collect money for pizza, and then he eats like three slices!

++ “There’s a lot of things you don’t know about me, Jack. In 1978 I was in Playboy just wearing a necktie and holding hands with a black girl.” —Diana

++ “The only ‘but’ we speak of tonight is the butt of the human ass.” —The maitre d’ trying to get Jack and Diana into a restaurant for Valentine’s Day

++ “Back in the day you know how many women me and Lamar Odom’s dad picked up here? And keep in mind back then this was a marsh where people came to shoot at fish.” —Tracy

++ “I let little things ruin stuff. I stopped shopping at Kmart because I found out Kathy Ireland didn’t design any of her signature socks.” —Lemon

++ Hazel: “I love your brown hair. It’s so bouncy like the after picture in a lice ad.”

Liz: “Thank you. It’s from intermittent washing.”

Does anyone else have the strong desire to shop at the chic uptown department store called Ray Ray’s Discount Clothes Bucket? Have you realized that realizations are the worst? And seriously, will someone serve me mashed potatoes out of a martini glass?! I want to live like a king. Did you like the episode? Let me know in the comments if I left off your favorite line.

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30 Rock
30 Rock

Tina Fey, Alec Baldwin, and Tracy Morgan star in the Emmy-winning comedy. You want to go to there.

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