Kanye West
Credit: Abdeljalil Bounhar/AP

Whatever you thought of M.I.A.’s Super Bowl outing, one thing is for certain: it could’ve gotten weirder.

The web’s premier celebrity-shamer The Smoking Gun has dug up a copy of what it claims is M.I.A.’s tour rider, and it’s a bit of a doozy, even by M.I.A.’s high-doozy standards.

On the list? Let’s see, we’ve got some bottles of Vitamin Water, a few trays of European cheese and “quality chocolates,” a high-speed internet connection.

Hmm, anything else? Oh yeah, we almost forgot about the three women between the ages of 20 and 25 to dance on stage wearing full-body burkas. And the burkas should be provided by the venue, naturally.

Then along comes Kanye: His own tour rider, leaked from a recent visit to Australia, stipulates that Yeezy requires imported and recut Versace towels on hand — because what else would he wipe his brow with during a performance?

And as it always does with West, it gets better:

“He demands that any drivers ferrying him are clad in 100 per cent cotton,” the Sun reports. “No man-made fibres.”

In other words, the next time Kanye and M.I.A. play a show together, everyone will be wearing fully breathable full-body burkas hand-stitched by Donatella. Can’t wait!

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