By Annie Barrett
February 05, 2012 at 10:32 PM EST
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Wentworth Miller Photograph By Brian Bowen Smith

What is…football? Is it that thing where polar bears try to maul each other to death while figure skating, all for the sake of a bottle of Coca-Cola even though we all know by this point that polar bears subsist ONLY on Coke and have a seemingly endless supply? Sports are amazing.

Anyway, you know I just tune in for the commercials. I’ve seen a bunch of them, but obviously I’m not as sensitive as EW’s morality maven Adam B. Vary, who thinks that seeing Super Bowl ads before the Super Bowl is wrong and possibly also un-American. Whoa. Get in the game, Adam! Pour a bowl of queso on your head and look alive! These are the most exciting commercials of the YEAR! We might get a better glimpse of David Beckham’s bulge!

You can watch all the commercials HERE.

UPDATE: THE 5 BEST SUPER BOWL ADS OF 2012…. 

Clint Eastwood for Chrysler

Detroit has done it again! First Eminem, now the voice of Mount Rushmore.

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Oikos yogurt

Have mercy! We all know anything featuring John Stamos is an instant classic.

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The Voice

Same goes for Super Bowl darling Betty White. Cee Lo wore the Bride’s yellow tracksuit.

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M&Ms

Ditto Vanessa Williams, obviously.

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Volkswagen, The Dog Strikes Back

This one was way more high-concept than last year’s The Force. If that sad, fat dog can turn his life around, then so can you! Just buy a car already.

UP NEXT: ‘Best Use of Echo and the Bunnymen’ and other superlatives

BEST USE OF ECHO AND THE BUNNYMEN

Am I watching the beginning of Donnie Darko: New Moon or the Super Bowl?

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BEST FACE

This guy after realizing his dream woman was only a Fiat the whole time. (Sadly not the trailer for Transformers 4.)

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PROMPTED THE DEEPEST, DARKEST DISCUSSION AT YOUR SUPER BOWL PARTY

This altogether slimy TaxACT pool-peeing kid.

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BEST DORITOS

It turns out his 30 pieces of silver were actually 30 Doritos.

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BEST-DRESSED ANIMAL

Mr. Quiggly for Skechers.

UP NEXT: Awards of Frustration and Despair

MOST BLEAK

But they have Twinkies and Chevys, so life post-apocalypse will be just fine.

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DEADLIEST TEASE

Just let us see your bulge, David Beckham.

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DUMBEST HUMAN TRICK

Oh, Daddy, no.

What are your picks for the Best and Worst commercials of Super Bowl 2012?

Read more:

Why did M.I.A. flip the bird during the Super Bowl? — POLL

NEW: NBC’s ‘The Voice’ Super Bowl combat ad unveiled

10 things you want to know about ‘Puppy Bowl VIII’

Follow @EWAnnieBarrett

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