Finally some answers for on-the-go girls (and guys) who absolutely must know where to pick up this season’s most mouthwatering macriobiotic fare with Madonna (Angelica Kitchen, obvs), how to cope with the perils of sitting next to a sweaty seat filler at the Emmys (if I had a nickel…), and who you have to bang to get your hands on the latest Coldplay album (not Brad Pitt… maybe Jay-Z)! That’s right GOOP fans, all-around doyenne Gwyneth Paltrow is bringing her unique brand of so-upscale-it’s-accessible-again-and-is-the-world-upside-down? elegance to mobile devices.

This latest venture, called GOOP City, became available on iPhones and iPads today for $3.99. Like everything else GOOP, it’s nothing if not universal (if you fit any of the three conditions above). The iOS app will offer tips on restaurants, bars, shopping, walking tours, and more. For now, GOOP City will focus on New York City, though more cities will be GOOPified in coming months. Paltrow described the app as “a trusted friend,” explaining that she was inspired by “years of being steered in the wrong direction by bribed concierges, biased opinions, and just plain bad suggestions.”

Food for thought: Paltrow’s daughter is named Apple. Is it a mere coincidence, or has she been planning this Jobs-ian tech takeover since 2004? How long before Paltrow partners with vendors in the world’s end-all-be-all daily deals website: LifeGOOPer? (Now your iPhone pocket journal will be only $148.80 instead of $372!) Next thing you know, she’ll be booking your hotels, flights, and car rentals on GOOPelocity. And then the final phase: GOOPling, a joint project with Ryan Gosling to take over all of meme-dom!

What do you think, PopWatchers? Will you sign up for GOOP City? Is Paltrow the modern-day shadow self of Napoleon, waging a step-by-step takeover of life as we know it?

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