George Takei has accomplished what was once thought seemingly impossible and figured a way to settle one of the oldest nerd scores: The epic Star Trek vs. Star Wars debate. Prompted by the ongoing showdown between William Shatner (“First of all, Star Wars was derivative of Star Trek derivative!”: Point Shatner) and Carrie Fisher (“Klingon? It just sounds like a laundry detergent”: Point Fisher), the great Mr. Sulu opted to take charge and become a Broker of Peace to put an end to the galaxy-and-decade-spanning feud once and for all.

But how does one do that for a embittered battle in which both sides have such dedicated, unflappable supporters? It’s quite simple, really: Call out Twilight and urge both Star Trek and Star Wars fans to come together to mutually hate on it. (All the points: Takei.)

In a video address to Shatner, Fisher, and sci-fi geeks everywhere, Takei urges that they all “shut your big worm holes” and put their hateful energy exactly where it belongs: In the Twilight franchise. “It’s really, really bad,” Takei says in the clip, adding that unlike Star franchises, both Trek and Wars, “Gone is any sense of heroism, camaraderie, or epic battles. In its place we have vampires that sparkle and mope and go to high school … Sci-fi fans, be warned. There are no great stories, characters, or profound life lessons to be had in Twilight. Nooo. The only message that rings through loud and clear is, ‘Does my boyfriend like me?'”

Watch his plea here:

Honestly, between this, posting that Kardashian picture, and calling out Rick Perry’s glorious fashion gaffe, is there making better use of the Internet these days than George Takei? Are you hoping Buffy and Blade will step up to the plate, as per his suggestion, to make things right in the sci-fi world again? Share in the comments section below.

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Star Trek: The Original Series

Star Trek

  • Movie
  • PG-13
  • 127 minutes
  • J.J. Abrams
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