By Ken Tucker
Updated December 10, 2011 at 02:47 PM EST

Louis C.K. has a new comedy special that you can watch today — but it’s not on TV. Go to as of Saturday noon EST, and five bucks will get you an hour’s worth of wonderful, shrewdly observed, periodically profane, brand new Louie material. Louis C.K. Live at the Beacon Theater starts with Louis making his own kind of please-turn-off-your-cell-phone announcement, and a warning not to text or tweet during the show: “Just live your life,” he asks.

I’m not giving away any punchlines here. But as you know from his FX series, Louie is frequently at his best when talking about kids and parenting, and his steady build from his dislike of Clifford the Big Red Dog books building to his hatred of little boys (“I’m the opposite of a pedophile”), builds to a moment in which he has to pause and say, “Okay, that’s the worst thing I’ve ever said. It’s good to know I’ve hit bottom.”

Whether he’s talking about a unique way to drop a rental car off at an airport (don’t let him put this idea into your head!) or describing why a man in his 40s should not smoke dope, it’s terrific, humane, carried-to-crazed-extremes stuff. I don’t usually urge anyone to spend money, but this is well worth a visit to Louis C.K.’s website.

Here’s an outtake from the concert. It’s a really funny clip, and I’m giving you a REALLY not suitable for family viewing language WARNING.

And the rest of the show is even funnier than this.

Twitter: @kentucker