Who knew such hilarity could be found in confectionery calamities? Blogger Jen Yates has an eye for botched cakes — her first book, Cake Wrecks: When Professional Cakes Go Hilariously Wrong shot to the New York Times best-seller list, and her new holiday-themed edition, Wreck the Halls, is sure to be a stocking-stuffer for adventurous bakers everywhere. It’s amazing that anyone would buy, let alone eat, these gross, scary, or just plain wrong dessert disasters, but they’re certainly good for a laugh. Sample a few slices below!
THERE’S A MESSAGE HERE …
“And that’s how Frosty died, kids. … Cake?”
NEXT PAGE: No one’s dreaming of a yellow Christmas …
IF THE SNOW AIN’T WHITE …
“Whenever I see yellow snow, I always think, ‘You’re in trouble, my peers!’ And then I say it out loud, so I don’t miss the joke.”
NEXT: A series of three scary Santas …
BE GOOD …
“… OR ELSE!”
NEXT: Things that are supposed to delight kids but actually scare them: 1) Clowns 2) Santa’s head on a plate?
FOR GOODNESS SAKE
“Well helloooo, children. I see you when you’re sleeping.”
NEXT: When Santa’s had one too many cookies …
“Dude. Nick, maybe try some coffee or something. You’re about to put the ‘pop’ in apoplexy.”
NEXT: I have to admit, this next one took me a minute to figure out — but it was worth it!
MAKE IT WORK
“Hey, I know the holidays aren’t always easy. Maybe you’ve got family in town. Maybe you have to work late. Maybe you’ve got tons of shopping to do, errands to run, and places to be, but not enough time to manage it all.
“Or maybe — just maybe — you’re trying to get your friend Roxanna a goodbye cake, but all the bakery has on hand are stock Christmas designs so you’re forced to make do with one of those and hope the Wreckerator on duty doesn’t screw up your instructions too badly.
“But that’s just a guess.”
NEXT: One for our friends who don’t celebrate Christmas …
HERE COMES HANUKKAH?
“Setting fire to an alien ribcage has never been more festive.”
NEXT: It’s really hard to Wreck a frosting Star of David. How easy is it to draw two overlapping triangles?
THE HANUKKAH PENTAGRAM
“Ticking off just about everyone since 2010.”
NEXT: When in doubt, stick to traditional Christmas colors.
WHAT HAPPENED TO GOOD OLD GREEN AND RED?
“THE ALBINO SPRINKLE BUSH OF JOY!?!”
NEXT: A part of Santa you don’t want to see on a cake …PUTTING THE “X” IN XMAS
“Gosh, if ONLY there was some way to make my edible X-mas Santa crotch a little more inappropriate.”
“Oh, I know. I’ll add a ‘ho ho ho.'”
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