By Lanford Beard
Updated November 14, 2011 at 10:47 PM EST

…everything but the kitchen sink, apparently. Real Housewives of Atlanta‘s Kim Zolciak seems to have taken the approach of fellow Georgian Scarlett O’Hara with her ornate wedding gown. In pics released to Life & Style, Kim shows off her new husband (as of last Friday) Kroy Biermann and the gown to end all gowns. Covered in beading, embroidery, and hand-carved crystal roses, Kim spared no detail with her Double Duchess Satin Baracci number. She even wore a custom veil with matching beads and embroidered lace. Who says Southerners don’t understand subtlety?

Frankly, I don’t know where to start. The rose-shaped straps… the curtain-like skirt, the outsize ruched bustle… It’s a veritable smorgasbord of styles and sparkles. The kind of dress so elaborate and outrageous that Saturday Night Live‘s Stefon would surely tell Seth Meyers about it if his beat were fashion instead of underground parties hosted by human fire extinguishers. It’s a dress that says, “Wear me at your own risk!” I suspect it’s no coincidence she’s sitting down in this picture, because that thing looks like it’s probably packing some weight akin to a showgirl’s headdress. Above all, this is Zolciak’s once-and-for-all declaration that she is no low-budget bitch.

What do you think, PopWatchers? Do you like Kim’s dress? Do you think she could have taken it to the next level with some Adrienne Maloof-style hair tinsel? What about Kroy rocking the Casablanca-esque white tux? What would you have given to be a fly on the wall of that wedding?

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