Syfy's 16 most awesomely bad horror movie titles
Yeti or not, here he comes![/caption]
UPDATED 2013: With Sharknado unveiled last night, we’ve updated this list!
PREVIOUS: Syfy unleashes its latest original creature feature this week: Rage of the Yeti. Now that’s a title! It sounds like a furious snowy Ewok.
While most networks have ditched their original movie efforts, Syfy has ramped up their output in recent years and currently airs more first-run movies than ever before (24 in 2010). Some of the movies are lousy and many are pretty fun, but the movies listed below share only one thing in common: An awesomely bad title.
Here’s 17 more besides Rage of the Yeti with photos, counting up to the best / worst: READ MORE, HERE’S #17…
17. Mega Piranha (2010)
Nice poster … just a taaaaad busy. What do you call a piranha movie to make it seem bigger? Mega Piranha, of course. This is also my favorite Syfy movie trailer, which I’ve included at the end of the countdown.
16. Bats: Human Harvest (2007)
A title that makes bats sound like hungry farmers. Soldiers in Afghanistan try to capture an Osama bin Laden-like cave-dwelling terrorist, but fail to anticipate his genetically engineered super bats which are programmed to kill
15. Chupacabra: Dark Seas (2005)
A Chupacabra is a legendary Latin American livestock killer, so what’s this “Dark Seas” business? That’s why this title makes the list. The chupacabra is running amuck … on a cruise ship! Honorable mention: Chupacabra vs. the Alamo.
14. Man-Thing (2005)
Sounds like the laziest title ever cooked up in a Hollywood writers room (“Uh, it’s a, you know, a Man-Thing?”). But it’s actually the laziest title ever cooked up by Marvel Comics. It’s about a humanoid Everglades swamp creature.
13. The Bone Eater (2008)
Not the first or last Syfy project that could have doubled for a porn title. Starred 1980s TV icons Gil Gerard and William Katt fighting a skeleton creature.
12. Carny (2009)
The only occupation inherently scary enough to land its own Syfy movie title. Yet instead of carnival workers run wild, the threat was actually this winged demon creature to the right.
The next film started a trend that would define Syfy creature movies to this day…
11. Dinocroc (2004)
Now we’re talking. This is the first of many Syfy titles that mashed together creatures for an unholy and biologically improbable combo. A film later that same year, Frankenfish, just didn’t get it. But 2010’s Dinoshark did. Pushing it: Dinocroc vs. Supergator.
10. Ice Spiders (2007)
It’s tough to find a title that’s both campy and scary. Ice Spiders pulls it off. The plot: Giant mutant spiders attack ski resort.
These two pics also show the rather large difference between horror movie poster art (above) and basic cable-budget reality (right).
9. Monster Ark (2008)
Old Testament terror! Seems Noah had two arks, and the first one was stuffed full of evil. Only Noah’s “magic staff” can save humanity
8. Jersey Shore Shark Attack (2012)
Who wasn’t rooting for the sharks in Syfy’s Snooki meets Jaws? Our suggested tagline: “Chum, Tan, Laundry.”
OK, you’re almost there, the next seven are great…
7. Kaw (2007)
If you’re going to knock off Alfred Hitchcock’s The Birds for Syfy, you can’t do much better than calling your film Kaw … actually, you could, if you added an exclamation point: Kaw!
6. Mongolian Death Worm (2010)
Based on a legendary acid-spewing Gobi desert creature that’s supposedly 2-5 feet long. The Syfy version was a tad larger.
5. Never Cry Werewolf (2008)
This one is cheating a little. Never Cry Werewolf was a Syfy acquisition, not an original. But it aired on the network and the title is awesome. Teenage girl can’t get anybody to believe that her next door neighbor is a werewolf. Look, he clearly is!
4. Mansquito (2005)
The Fly knock off had another title for DVD — MosquitoMan. Syfy’s title way better.
3. Piranhaconda (2012)
You must love this concept: A giant snake that can squeeze you and/or bite you to death — depending, I guess, on how impatient it’s feeling. But there might not be a Piranhaconda if not for our #2 title…
2. Sharktopus (2010)
The second-best Syfy creature feature title became an online sensation the moment the project was announced.
The title was dreamed up by a staffer at the network (Syfy won’t say who) and B-movie legend Roger Corman brought the half-shark, half-octopus, all-meme to life.
1. Sharknado (2013)
A new No. 1! Yes. Sharks and … tornadoes. One of those combinations that you have be insane or brilliant, or a bit of both, to conceive. It shouldn’t work. It makes zero sense. And yet, that’s why it’s just right. Not only made the list, but rocketed straight to the top. Here’s the trailer:
Bonus! Honorable mentions without pics:
A title so bad you can’t even tell it’s a horror movie. A scientist reprograms his super home computer system with a woman’s personality, but when he reconciles with his wife the machine turns murderous. The tagline: “It cooks. It cleans. It kills.”
I wanted Laserhawk to be about killer birds with lasers attached, but the title is the name of a spacecraft. The actual threat is the standard mutant insects from outer space.
Bonus II: A favorite Syfy original movie trailer: Mega Piranha: