Courtney Stodden gets kicked out of pumpkin patch.
Here on PopWatch, I write a lot about women’s issues in pop culture. Body image, right to privacy, exploitation — there really isn’t a topic I don’t like to weigh in on, constantly encouraging female celebrities to dare to be recognized for their talent and brains over their heavily scrutinized bodies. (Just see my sadness over Lindsay Lohan’s reported Playboy shoot earlier today.) So why in God’s name am I so damned excited to watch child bride Courtney Stodden and husband Doug Hutchison’s reality show?
These are two people who stand for everything I stand against: One half of the couple is an oversexed teenager who depressingly doesn’t think she could get attention without flaunting her figure in extremely revealing clothing; the other is a fiftysomething who managed to skirt the law in order to take advantage of a fame-hungry teen. Not to mention the fact that both are fame-whorish enough to even shop a reality show about their creepily sexy lives. But, PopWatchers, this is one trainwreck I can’t turn away from. I mean, my god, this is a couple that got kicked out of a pumpkin patch this past weekend… for being too sexy. If there’s anything more horrendously entertaining than Stodden’s romance-novel-meets-Bible tweets, it’s two people who can’t help but straddle each other amongst the unsexiest of produce.
Now, I am extremely, extremely ashamed of this, PopWatchers. So I’m attempting to make excuses. Perhaps the ’90s nostalgic in me feels it’s simply been too long since Pamela Anderson sexified everything in her path, often to embarrassing consequences. Perhaps it’s because I really think Stodden is a 35-year-old comedienne who’s going to come out and shock us in a year with her teen bride performance art. (Because, come on, those tweets from “Stodden” are hysterical.) Perhaps… aw, hell, I’ve got nothing else, PopWatchers. I am terrible. But let’s make this a no-judgment zone and express our very, very guilty pleasure for Stodden’s antics. Am I alone?
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