By Leah Greenblatt
October 12, 2011 at 05:32 PM EDT

Destiny’s plan for this Child? Apparently, it involves getting extra-sessy with a Slinky, reclining in a chaise lounge made of hairless men, and dancing in what looks like a hot Grecian diaper onesie.

Also, trunk-stroking action with an elephant, some casual vogue-ing inside a silver Mylar party balloon, and a smidge of Remy Martin product placement. Plus guest Big Sean, wearing a demure 18 pounds of gold chain.

So much to parse! Click to see it all after the jump:

Between 2009’s “When Love Takes Over,” last year’s “Commander,” and this summer’s “What a Feeling,” girl is like the patron saint of powering through the last ten minutes of spin class (seguing into cool-down reward “Motivation”).

Readers, are you feeling Kelly’s steady morph from Beyonce’s second banana into pantsless queen of the Ibiza dancefloor/cardio-room? Let us know in the comments below.

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